My parents were still in town visiting for the weekend, so on Sunday, February 20th, and we all went to church together like normal. After church, Ben took the big kids to a surprise party for our friend Mandy after church. I went back home with my parents, put our little baby down for her nap, and then we ordered take out from the Skillet, since we weren't going to be able to go out to eat with a tired baby. Some day we will be able to go out for lunch after church without having to worry about kids melting down. It was nice and quiet at my house that afternoon though, and I was able to talk with my parents more, so that was nice. However, when Ben and the kids got back home, we realized that Owen had pooped his pants, didn't tell anyone, and then sat in it on the way home in the car seat. He had to go in the shower and be totally cleaned off, along with his car seat, so that wasn't a fun part of the afternoon.
Here is some work Samantha brought home from school last week. She has her weekly math spiral review, got 56/56 on a math mid-chapter check up, got 103% on her Chapter 8 Math Test, and made a very lovely picture of a snowman for art class.
My parents planned on leaving on Monday morning to start their long drive back to Lombard. It was nice having them visit, and they were taking some boy clothes back to Christy, after dropping some off for me from her.
Our little baby woke up that morning looking this this with green snot hardened all over under her nose. She hadn't been feeling well for a while, but I couldn't get her to drink more than 3 ounces. I'm sure it was probably hard for her to breathe with how congested she was.
I signed the kids up for a Lego Robotics Class at the Bloomsburg Children's Museum. They had Monday off of school, and I thought this would be the perfect way to spend our day. We packed our lunch so we could eat in the car before getting there, so that way we could just get out and play once we arrived. We got there a little before noon, and the Lego class didn't start until 1:00, so we had time for the kids to play around in the museum ahead of time.
They had a small area with toys and baby-friendly items like mirrors and things to touch and feel, so I let our little baby roll around and explore while the boys played in this pretend kitchen area. We hadn't been to this museum in a long time, so it was fun to watch them explore and play, even though we had to wear masks still.
Samantha found a bin of costumes, and even though they were designed for children much smaller than her, she was able to squeeze into a couple of them, and it was funny to watch her hopping around like a frog. She humored me and let me take a couple pictures and a video of her.
The kids played for quite a while in this little room with gears and magnetic rails to make a path for a wooden ball to travel down. It was fun watching them experience with trial and error, testing their new design, and figuring out how to make things work.
Another area they really liked playing in was this old school room. They each took turns being the teacher and "bossing" each other around, as well as being unruly, disobedient students. Although Owen was being a model student and not causing any trouble. He was so cute sitting at the little desk and watching Samantha and Aedan.
The Lego Robotics class started at 1:00, and all three kids were signed up for it. I just planned on helping Owen to work through the class. It was a really neat experience because there was a special computer program they used where they got to make various things out of Legos and program them with motions and noises. Aedan was totally into it and was super focused on learning to use the program and make as many things as he could. Samantha was on the other side of the room, so I didn't see as much of what she was doing along the way, but the instructors did a really good job of walking them through how to make the first example and then just let them take off, choosing what they wanted to build and program, and experimenting with the Lego Robotics program. They even told us that we could check out these Lego kits to use at home, so I will definitely have to look into that at some point. They would love to do this more at home.
Aedan built and programmed these birds that spun around.
Owen and I built this foot that swung back and worth and rotated. This definitely didn't hold his interest for as long, and I did most of the building, but it was at least something to keep him occupied while Samantha and Aedan enjoyed their class.
Aedan was really proud of this monkey drummer that he built. He was such a cute, happy boy, totally in his element, and it was fun to watch.
He then redesigned his monkey drummer, put a Lego guy on top of the drum, and made the monkey smash the Lego guy as he drummed. Owen almost preferred to just stand and watch Aedan or Samantha build and program things, than to do anything on his own.
Samantha was doing great building things on the other side of the room as well. She built and designed an alligator whose mouth would open and close, so she was putting Legos in the mouth like he was eating. It made her giggle.
She also got a Lego figure to put inside the chomping alligator's mouth. It was so fun to see what everyone was making.
I tried to get Owen interested in building more with me, but it was the afternoon and he was pretty tired, but we did build and program this boat that rocked back and forth.
Samantha made this crazy spinning thing. It was fun to watch them spinning at different rates, as well as popping up and down. There were so many fun things you could do with this Lego Robotics computer program.
These kids were having such a blast that afternoon. I'm so glad they were able to have that experience.
Aedan then broke away from the planned builds and started creating and programming his own creations. He could have stayed there for the rest of the day building and experimenting, but unfortunately the class only went until 4:00, so he had to clean up and pack up his Lego Robotics kit at that point.
Aedan can be really sweet with our little baby, and I caught him playing with her that evening after dinner.
The days that I work and our little baby goes to day care are rough on her. She still has not learned to nap while she is there, so she goes all day without sleeping, making her one tired little girl when we bring her home at the end of the day. She was so tired that she fell right asleep as I was feeding her her bottle at home. She still wasn't feeling totally well, as you can tell by her red cheeks, but she very rarely falls asleep with me, so I enjoyed watching her sweet, peaceful face as she rested into my hand and then stayed asleep as I placed her back in the crook of my arm, holding her, rocking her, and just enjoying the cuddles of a sleeping baby. She is so adorable.
Here is a video Ben took as he drove Samantha around, trying to get her to promise that she wasn't going to date until she was 30, but for some reason she wouldn't repeat after him. She has quite the personality and sense of humor, and she is definitely getting sassier as she gets older, but mostly in a joking way in response to Ben, like in this video clip.
Wednesday was a little crazy at work for me because we finished Level 1 of the Edmark Reading Program, but we didn't have the right version of Level 2 yet, so I was still trying to figure out the reading program. The Level 2 that we were given from the high school was an old, outdated version, and it didn't come with any of the supplemental materials that actually made the program what it was, so it was very difficult for me to figure out what to do with my reading group each day. I was hoping we would get the new version of Level 2 soon so we could get a good start on it over the last few months of the year.
Here is a spelling test that Aedan brought home from school that day. He got a 100% which is great for him. Spelling is really something we have to work hard on practicing throughout the week so he can be ready for his test on Friday. Spelling does not come naturally to Aedan, but I am proud of the hard work that he puts in and the improvement we have seen as we have focused on helping him learn and practice the words.
I have been struggling lately with feeling like there is just no time. Life is just very busy with waking up every day and getting four kids ready, half who never listen when told to do something. Then, it's just working all day and finding time to go grocery shopping, run errands, do homework with the kids, make and clean up dinner, and do bath time and bedtime. Then, Ben and I have our own work to do in the short hour after they are in bed and when I should be getting ready for bed so that way I can actually get enough sleep. I feel like there is no free time, no relaxing time, no time for me, no time for exercise or reading or even to get enough sleep. Then, I have to figure out how to get everything else done, from cleaning, to activities, to appointments, to keeping up with schoolwork and deadlines. It just all feels like too much sometimes, and I just don't know how other women keep up with it all.
Feeling this way made my weekend at the Filled Retreat for foster and adoptive moms that much more meaningful and beneficial. There was a snowstorm coming through Thursday night into Friday, so we decided it would be best for me to head out Thursday night, drive part of the way there, stay overnight at a Holiday Inn Express, and then drive the rest of the way to the retreat center on Friday morning. It was strange staying at a hotel by myself, and I ended up staying up later than I should have, but it was nice having extra time to myself that Friday morning. I had a nice breakfast and actually had time to read my Bible and journal before heading to Panera to work on my blog and just have time to myself, something that I don't ever get. It was actually very nice.
With the snowstorm that came overnight, the kids' school actually had a snow day/e-learning day that Friday. Here are Samantha and Owen playing with oobleck that they made together.
And here are Samantha and Aedan singing Rewrite the Stars from The Greatest Showman. It's so cute to see them doing things like this together still, and the emotion and passion that Samantha sings with makes me smile. Aedan actually has a very good voice and stays nicely on pitch. Owen just sits there quietly watching Samantha and Aedan, which is just fine with him most of the time. These three kids of ours are pretty great.
When I got to the retreat center for the Filled Retreat, I was so extremely nervous that I almost didn't want to walk in by myself. I didn't know anyone else that was going to be there, but Ben had such a good experience at his foster dad retreat in the fall, that I wanted to try going to one as well. I had been listening to Jamie Finn's podcast, Foster the Family, for quite a while, and I was excited to read her new book that had just been published. When I walked into the main building to check in, Jamie Finn was standing right there welcoming people, and I felt so nervous, almost like I was meeting a celebrity, someone I looked up to and admired so much. I got checked in, got my welcome bag, found out my room number, grabbed a free latte from the coffee bar, and then went back out to my car to get settled into my room before the first session that night at 5:00. I shared a room with two other ladies who were part of a group of foster moms from Ohio. They were super nice in welcoming me and making me feel included with their group. I ended up sitting with them at most of the group sessions, as well as for meals. I still felt pretty awkward, and I wished that there was a group of foster moms like that where I live that I could be more connected to.
Anyways, the first session was just a quick welcome introduction, and then they encouraged women to go into the dining room for dinner in shifts, since there was not enough space for everyone at the same time. So I took advantage of the time to take a little walk outside and see the sun setting, and then go to back to our room for a little while before heading back to the dining room for dinner and the evening session, which started at 7:30. The main sessions were excellent, and it was definitely a powerful message along with a really great band playing some excellent worship music. It was a little difficult to stay focused and alert that night, as I'm not used to be social that late at night these days as a mom. They had a movie starting at 9:00, which was Clueless, and I was not very interested in doing that, so I decided to spend time sitting in the hot tub, relaxing, listening to other moms talk and having some conversation, before going back to my room, showering, and having some time to myself.
Saturday morning's breakfast was between 7:30-9:30, and I forget what time I woke up, but since I had already showered the night before, I didn't have to do as much that morning. Jamie Finn was the speaker at that morning's main session, and it was so interesting to hear her speak. She is such a gifted speaker, so relatable, and so wise in her understanding of God's Word and how it speaks to women, and even more specifically, foster parents. I wish that more churches would allow women to speak and allow women to be pastors. I don't understand why there's such a disconnect in so many churches. Being surrounded by so many servant-hearted women was so refreshing and encouraging.
After the morning main session, we broke up into groups to talk and get to know each other. Everyone was encouraged to sit at a table with women they didn't know, and we were led through a series of questions to discuss. It was very interesting to hear everyone's stories with fostering and to bond over shared experiences and encourage those that were going through a hard time with their foster children or the long process of waiting that is typically involved in fostering and adoption. Lunch was from 12:00-1:30, and then we had free time until dinner where we could choose what we wanted to do. I took a little walk outside because I needed to move and get some fresh air. We had some pretty views from our retreat center, and even though it was a little cold and windy, and it was good to get out and take a walk.
I decided to attend the breakout sessions because I wasn't too interested in doing a lot of crafts. I went to one called Managing Expectations, another called Kids Story, and then one called Marriage. They were all fairly interesting, some more than others, but I was hoping they might be more practical or at least allow for conversation and discussion, which was not the case. I think looking back, I shouldn't have gone to every breakout session and instead given myself a break mentally, or even just gone back to the room to rest. I just wanted to try to get as much information and wisdom as I could out of the weekend; plus, going to the sessions helped me avoid the awkwardness of not knowing anyone.
I did have time to make one craft, which was a picture frame white board decorated with different colored tape, so it was pretty simple for me to make. I went back to our room to try to rest and read for awhile before dinner, but a roommate of mine was in there napping and I didn't want to disturb her, so instead, I took another walk outside along the water as the sun was setting, and it was very beautiful.
Then, it was time for dinner before the Saturday night main session. The food was okay at the retreat center, but I have to admit that I expected it to be better quality as a treat to moms who so often are serving and feeding kids before they ever get to sit down to a hot meal themselves. The homemade desserts that another foster mom lovingly makes and brings for everyone was definitely the highlight as far as food was concerned.
Nomads + Natives was the band that played worship songs for us to sing, and they were very good. I enjoyed their style and how they incorporated violin into their songs. It was pretty awesome being in a room full of women singing praise to the Lord. These main sessions with worship and teaching became my favorite times of the weekend.
We participated in this really powerful demonstration with candles. They would read off a statement and you were supposed to raise your candle if it applied to you. Then, we were able to look around the room and see how many other foster and adoptive moms were in the same position we were. It was very moving to look around the room and see so many candles raised up into the air.
After meeting Jamie it was already 10:15, and the hot tub closed at 11:00, so I decided to sit in it again as a way to relax and unwind before going to sleep. Many of the same women were in it from the night before, so it was kind of fun to sit and talk again. Once it got to 11:00, I went back to our room and took a shower. My roommates were in the next room over playing games together, so I asked if I could come over and join them. It was fun hanging out and talking, laughing and playing silly games with ladies I hardly knew at all. I was so grateful for how welcoming they were to me. My roommates stayed up late talking in bed that night, and I tried to join in for as long as I could, but I was getting so tired that I couldn't stay awake any longer and ended up falling asleep while the two of them were still talking.
Sunday morning was our last day, so we had breakfast and the last main session at 10:00. There was a very informative panel of women: one who adopted, one who gave up a son to be adopted, and one who was adopted. Jamie asked really good questions of them, and it was so interesting to hear their perspectives, especially when thinking about maybe adopting our little baby someday.
Even though it seemed like we just had breakfast, after the morning main session, there was lunch and then the final gathering at 1:00. The ladies I roomed with from Ohio left before that to get a start on their drive back home, so I sat by myself for this last session. As we were all coming in and getting settled, they played the song Under the Surface from Encanto, and it was funny to see how many moms were singing along to the music. I took a video of it to send to Samantha because I figured she would get a kick out of it.
Here's a little snippet of our last worship session together. As you can tell, it was a pretty powerful experience.
The final gathering was fairly short, and they gave us these squishy bracelets with all the ways we identify: from biological mom, miscarriage and infertility, foster mom, adoptive mom, etc. It was interesting to see all the different colored bracelets people were wearing. It was refreshing to be in a room where families are complicated, and you wear many different hats as a mom. And with that, it was time to head out and drive back home to my children and husband. It was a good weekend. I was very glad that I went, even though I was extremely nervous. I was pretty tired from staying up very late at night with my roommates talking, but it was nice to get away from everyday life, and to be filled and refreshed with the knowledge that I am adopted into the family of God, just as the children are adopted into our families. It was a beautiful picture and a wonderful weekend.
(Blog about February 20-26, 2022)
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