Aedan: 61 Months, Week 2
Owen: 19 Months, Week 3
The beginning of this week Ben and I were in Pennsylvania with the goal to find a house that we liked and wanted to make an offer on, which is no small task. We arrived at our hotel late on Saturday night, and were exhausted after driving 12 hours in one day.
We had plans to meet with our realtor on Sunday at 1:00, so we decided to try out a church called Restored on Sunday morning. We enjoyed the sermon; it was challenging and the pastor was open with some of his struggles over the past year, which I really appreciated. The people were friendly and welcoming. It's always awkward trying new churches, but we have a handful that seem like they will work for us, and it will be an adventure to find a new one that works well for our family.
After church Ben and I took advantage of the fact that we were by ourselves and ate at a little local restaurant called the Canteen. We actually sat at the bar to eat and had some yummy brunch food before heading to our realtor's office. We had quite the list of houses to look at that day, some in Mountain Top and some in Dallas. I think we ended up seeing 8-9. Now, some people like house hunting, but I'm not too big of a fan of it. Pictures almost always make them look better than the real thing, and I find myself being disappointed in most houses. Maybe I have too high of expectations? I don't know. I just felt the pressure of the decision weighing down on me that day, knowing that we were hoping to put an offer in on a house while we were there. Our last house was a For Sale By Owner house that we went to see on our own. I was really impressed by the house, especially after our day of not seeing really any that I thought would work for our family. However, it was above our budget and really would be a reach for us. We definitely had a lot to think about.
After kind of a disappointing day on Sunday, we planned to see a couple more houses again on Monday morning before meeting with a mortgage lender to discuss all the lovely financial aspects of buying a house. Ben and I both have great credit scores, so that wasn't a concern; it was just a matter of playing with how much money we put down and what interest rate we would get. We then went out to a house in Harvey's Lake, which was just five minutes or so past Dallas, and saw a house that Ben was interested in that we almost didn't take the time to go see because we thought it was too far out. The house was beautiful. Ben and I stood in the kitchen, caught each other's eyes, and just smiled. The house had wood floors, three bedrooms on the second floor for the kids and the master bedroom on the main floor. It also had a basement with a bathroom which wasn't even included in the pictures. There was a great deck off the back of the house and quite a bit of property behind the house. When I first saw it, I thought it was beautiful, but it was definitely pretty hilly in the yard and the driveway. There weren't very many places that were level, and that kind of concerned me at first, as far as the kids being able to play in the yard, especially for how well Owen would be able to walk around. It wasn't fenced in, but none of the places we were looking at had fenced-in yards, so that is something we will have to deal with later. I really loved the house, but I was slightly concerned with it being farther away from Wilkes-Barre. It would be about a 25 minute drive for Ben to get to work every day. When moving to the area, most people recommended that we live in Mountain Top or Dallas because the school districts are better there, so I just had it in my mind that we would live in one of those two cities. I hadn't done much research on Harvey's Lake or that school district, so it was definitely something to think about and consider more.
This was the last house on our list to see, so our realtor took us back to his office and dropped us off at our car. Ben and I were now left with the task of trying to decide which house we wanted to put an offer on. With the Harvey's Lake house now thrown in the equation, I wanted to go back to that area and look around a little more. We hadn't eaten lunch yet, so we stopped at a local pizza place for a very late lunch while we discussed what we were going to do next. School for our kids is a big deal, so we decided to make a couple stops at local elementary schools. I know that helped a lot when we did that when moving to Sault Ste. Marie. Our first stop was Lake Noxen Elementary, which is the school the kids would go to if we lived in the Harvey's Lake house. We arrived right as dismissal was happening, which wasn't the most ideal time of day. The administrators were busy, and we couldn't get a tour of the school because there were still students in the building. The school counselor spoke with us for a few minutes about how we would register and who we would talk to regarding getting Samantha tested for the Gifted Program. She also informed us that the Gifted Program is actually at the other elementary school, Lehman-Jackson, so if Samantha got into that program, she would be bused to attend that school instead. That seemed a little different to us, especially if that would mean that Aedan would still be at the other school. We really would prefer Samantha and Aedan to be attending the same school, so that was definitely something to consider. The house in Harvey's Lake was fairly equidistant between both elementary schools, at least according to Google Maps.
From there, we decided to visit Dallas Elementary. School had already let out, and we were lucky enough to meet the principal who then showed us around the entire school, talking to us for a good forty-five minutes, and answering all of our questions. The school was impressive, to say the least. It was a newer building with very nice facilities. The school district was building a brand new building that would be ready for the next school year for upper elementary. The principal said there would be eight or nine classes of each grade level, so the school was very large. The kindergarten classrooms looked very nice, but we were also informed that currently they only have half day kindergarten, which didn't really excite me for Aedan because I think he is ready for going to school all day. He has been going to half day preschool five days a week, so going to half day kindergarten would almost feel like an extension of preschool. Anyways, we were very impressed by the school and the time the principal devoted to showing us around. Dallas schools are definitely the top district in the area, and that is why Dallas is such a sought after suburb to live in (and why the houses are so expensive in that area).
After seeing that school, I think Ben and I both felt a strong desire to try and be in the Dallas school district, so we were leaning very much toward the For Sale by Owner house in Dallas. We stopped at a Dunkin' Donuts for coffee, and we called our realtor to let him know of this house so that he could be in the loop. He had another meeting the evening and couldn't come with us to see the house again that night, but he said he would like to see the house with us early on Tuesday morning. He has been extremely helpful in this home search process and spent a lot of his time showing us around, so we weren't planning on cutting him out of the equation by not including him on this sale. However, Ben and I did meet up with the owner of the house that evening, planning on telling him that we intended to make an offer to him that night or early the next morning. However, when we arrived at the house, the owner informed us that they just had other people visit the house, were very interested, and they pretty much came in right at list price. When I heard that, my stomach just dropped, and I was extremely disappointed, feeling like we had waited too long to make our intentions known. This market is so fast here. Any house that is worth buying is gone within a week or so. I felt disappointed by the two other houses we saw online before even coming to visit that were bought before we could see them, and now I was afraid we were going to lose this house as well. It was also disappointing that the other people came in at list price because this house was already beyond our budget, and now this would be forcing us to offer more than we really wanted.
After looking around the house a little more and talking with the owner, Ben and I left to go back to the hotel and talk with our kids on FaceTime before eating a late dinner at Chipotle. We were not too hungry since we ate a late lunch, and we just wanted to eat somewhere good and familiar.
I am not great at making decisions, even small ones sometimes. I have gotten much better over the years, but I still have a lot of room for improvement. However, big decisions like this, where we are going to live which also determines where our kids will go to school and who their friends will be and what our community will be, are even more difficult for me. I was getting my stomach all tied in knots and was just mentally and emotionally exhausted that night as Ben and I tried to talk about it. He got out some paper and listed the three houses that we were considering: the larger, outdated one in Mountain Top, the For Sale by Owner in Dallas, and the Harvey's Lake house. I'm so thankful to be married to someone who can think through things more logically and rationally than me. He helps ground me so much when my worries and anxieties overwhelm me. He was able to order them and choose which he thought was best. We also had a conversation about how, if we got the Dallas house, I would have to work to make some extra money, so I talked with my friend about possibly doing some tutoring online through VIP Kids. He said as long as I was willing to do that, we could put an offer on the Dallas house, and that was our final decision at the end of the night on Monday. We contacted the owners and set up a time to bring our realtor by early the next morning so that Ben and I could get on the road sometime that day. Then, Ben lovingly prayed for me before we went to bed that night, which helped calm my mind that was trying to process all that had taken place over the last two days.
We arrived at the Dallas house at 8:30 on Tuesday morning, and as we were looking around in the morning sunlight, I felt very sure that I wanted to make an offer on the house. The owner said he expected to get the official offer from the other family sometime that day, and he told us the verbal offer of full list price that they had given him the day before. However, he made it sound like the people might be more high maintenance and be asking for some contingencies. The owner made it sound like whichever offer was simpler and gave them more money, even if it was $100, they would accept, so Ben and I left feeling more confident than we should have been of them "liking us" and being willing to accept our offer. Anyways, from there our realtor went back to the office to write up the paperwork, and we planned to meet up in about and hour. Since Ben and I had some time to kill, we walked around Kirby Park for awhile. They have lots of trails, open grass, and a little playground. We also walked up to the top of the bridge that crosses over the river, and I took a couple pictures of the river with downtown Wilkes-Barre in the background. There will definitely be pretty things to discover in this city.
After walking around for awhile and just talking and enjoying the sunny weather, we went back to the realtor's office to sign all the paperwork for our offer for the house in Dallas, and then he sent it to the owners through email. Then, we just had to wait and see what happens. They anticipated getting the offer from the other family that afternoon, so we expected to hear back sometime that evening. Since there was nothing else for us to do there, Ben and I headed out on our long drive back home. Here are a few pictures of the city in the valley and the mountains in the background. It was weird to think that the next time we are here, we will have a moving truck with all our earthly possessions, and we will be moving into our new home in a totally different part of the country that we have never really been before. Time for a new adventure!
We never did hear from the homeowners that day. Our realtor called them to make sure they had received our offer through email, and they said they were still waiting to hear back from the other family. He expressed to them that it wasn't fair to us to keep us waiting when we got our offer in in a timely manner, but they said they gave the other people until Wednesday morning, so we had to do more waiting that night. Now I see that working with a For Sale by Owner makes things more complicated and less clear cut than two realtors going back and forth with each other.
We arrived home just before lunchtime on Wednesday, and it was so good to be back home and see the boys again. It had been a whirlwind of a trip, and we were so thankful for Ema and Papa staying with the kids for four and a half days. The kids did great with them, and everything went really well. I will now take a break from sharing my stories to include words from Ema and Papa about their time with the kids while we were gone.
"On Saturday morning the children were excited to see us and did not seem too concerned about their parents leaving. It was really a beautiful day weather-wise, so by 10:00 in the morning the kids were all out in the back yard playing. They do such a good job of playing with each other, so it is enjoyable to be outside with them. After lunch, Samantha and Aedan continued to play outside while Owen napped. Bill took Samantha and Aedan to a playground later in the afternoon, and they really enjoyed that. Samantha found a couple of her friends to play with at the park."
"On Sunday we were able to get everyone ready for church and dropped off at the right place. We have really enjoyed attending their church when we would visit and felt somewhat sad that this would likely be the last time we would visit their church since we did not anticipate being back up at their place before they moved. The weather on Sunday was not quite as nice as Saturday, but still the kids did some playing outside. In the early evening we had Samantha and Aedan take their bikes, and Bill and I took Owen in the stroller, for some time over on campus. It is fun to see them do so well on their bikes. I hope that they will have a good place to ride in Pennsylvania."
"We managed to plan our early morning time well in getting the morning routine down. Samantha and Aedan do a really good job getting themselves around in the morning, so I would fix breakfast as Bill got Owen around. Bill would load the two boys with him in the car each morning as he drove Samantha to school."
"The weather for the rest of the time we were there became pretty cold again, so it was difficult for the kids to play much outside. Each time Bill would drive back with the car, if Owen was looking out the window, he would say, "dada," hoping it was his daddy coming home. This time there wasn't any trouble from Owen when Mom and Dad Facetimed. He did not get upset when he saw them on the phone but was more intrigued by the situation. Both Samantha and Aedan had their moments of missing Mom and Dad, but they were very cooperative with everything."
"On Tuesday afternoon, Ken and Linda, the UP adopted grandparents, came over for a visit. We had a good time getting to know each other better. It has been a real blessing for us to know there is a couple near them that love on our grands and their parents. Ken and Linda have stepped in and have helped Ben and Jenny in so many ways, as well as loved on our precious grands. A couple like that is an answer to our prayers when we live 7.5 hours away from our grandkids. We decided to take the kids out to McDonald's for dinner that evening but had to go to Wendy's instead since only the drive-up was open due to construction. We thought Ben and Jenny might make it home on Tuesday evening, but due to the time needed in PA, they did not make it home until Wednesday at noon. That meant that we needed to pack a lunch for Samantha since she did not like the cafeteria food for Wednesday, and we also needed to get Aedan ready for a field trip, so he needed to be dropped off at 9:00 at his school. Samantha helped me figure out what to put in her lunch, and we got Aedan around in time. That wasn't bad considering I had not noticed there was a field trip until I read his calendar after 8:00 on Wednesday morning."
"Throughout the week, we really enjoyed hearing Owen say "um" after each bite when he was eating. He sure enjoys his food. Also, I enjoyed his "ew" when he found something like a piece of trash on the floor. He enjoyed playing ball when the Cubs game would be on and was quite fascinated by the Cubs insignia on Bill's shirt. Aedan was such a grown up little guy. He takes care of choosing his clothes, getting dressed, and playing well with his Legos. He did make me chuckle when he asked, "Ema, why are you always so busy? You don't have time to play with me." Samantha did a great job being kind to her brothers and "mother" Owen if he would get upset. Samantha and I had some great "girl" time together, and I really enjoyed being around her one-on-one. Although our days were filled with child care, and we were tired by the end of each day, I would not trade opportunities like we had with them, for anything. They are great kids, and we are blessed to be able to spend time with them."
Here are a couple pictures and videos of Ema and Papa's time with the kids. We are so thankful that the kids have such loving and devoted grandparents.
Ema and Papa stayed with us for lunch on Wednesday, and then packed up their things to start on their way back home. To say that Aedan was sad when they left would be a severe understatement. This boy LOVES having Ema and Papa around. Many times he talks about wanting to live in Upland, or even just live in their house. He actually tried to get in the back seat of their car as they were getting things packed up, wanting to go back to Upland with them. When Daddy finally convinced Aedan to come out, and he watched them pull away, he just started sobbing and clinging to Daddy's neck. Aedan normally cries when they leave, but he never cries this hard. Daddy sat with him, holding him on his lap, and just letting him cry for a good twenty minutes. It just broke my heart to see Aedan so distraught over them leaving. I always feel sad when they leave, too, because I so wish that we lived closer to family so they could be more of a consistent presence in our life, rather than someone we just get to see every few months for a few days. A wave of emotion passed over me as well because I always thought that if we ever moved away from the U.P., it would be for a job that would take us closer to family, not farther away. Despite those feelings, I trust that the Lord is opening this door for us for a reason, even if we may not understand it right now. Keeping strong bonds with family and staying connected is very important to us, so Ben and I will need to make sure we are doing our part in supporting those connections, even after we move to Pennsylvania.
Ben and I spent the rest of the day getting settled back into our home, and trying really hard to not nervously/anxiously await a call from our realtor. We figured we would have heard something by now, so I was starting to get nervous. I don't remember all the details right now, but the next couple of days involved a lot of back and forth, and it made me see why these people wanted to do For Sale by Owner. They got us in a bidding war with the other family, telling us what the other family offered, giving us a chance to one up them, and then going back to the other family and telling them what we offered, giving them a chance to one up us. The whole process wasn't fair, and it showed Ben and I that the owner was not being honest with us when he said that they would take the higher offer. I mean, it makes sense, I get it, you want to get the best price you can for your house, but we were already maxing out our price range, and we weren't really willing to go up much farther. So by midday on Thursday, we basically gave our final offer, and the other family gave their final offer, and the owner was going to decide by 1:00. Later that afternoon, our realtor called us and let us know that they accepted the other offer. I kind of thought that was coming with how much back and forth we were doing, but I was still upset and overwhelmed. I cried several different times that afternoon, trying to reconcile my feelings of disappointment with the fact that I knew this happened for a reason. There is a reason that that house in Dallas didn't work out, and in some weird ways I felt relieved because it made both of us a little uncomfortable with how out of our budget was, the fact that I would have to work just to help us make ends meet over the next few years until I started working, and the whole process of the bidding war soured us on the house.
To make our day even more complicated and confusing and emotionally draining, Owen's surgery for getting his ear tubes was rescheduled for that Thursday morning, and we had to arrive at the hospital at 6:15. Linda offered to come over at 6:00 that morning and sit at the house while Samantha and Aedan slept, and to be here when they woke up so that Ben didn't have to rush back home. She is so thoughtful and kind and knows just how to help us when we have needs. She has been such a blessing to me over the past year or so. Her prayers and encouragement have gotten me through the rough times when Owen wasn't sleeping. They have given us date nights where we know our kids are taken care of, and she was one of the few people I knew could handle Owen when I was the only one who could put him to sleep. (We are sure going to miss the two of them when we move away.) God knew what he was doing when he had our two families collide.
We woke Owen up right before it was time to head to the hospital, and he was very confused and out of it. We don't normally wake the little guy up at 6:00 a.m. I was worried that he might have a hard time not having anything to eat or drink, but he didn't seem to really notice that we didn't give him anything. Once at the hospital, we went upstairs, got checked in, and were taken back to a room where they took Owen's vitals. He wasn't so sure about the oxygen monitor being put on his finger.
We woke Owen up right before it was time to head to the hospital, and he was very confused and out of it. We don't normally wake the little guy up at 6:00 a.m. I was worried that he might have a hard time not having anything to eat or drink, but he didn't seem to really notice that we didn't give him anything. Once at the hospital, we went upstairs, got checked in, and were taken back to a room where they took Owen's vitals. He wasn't so sure about the oxygen monitor being put on his finger.
When it was time to go down to the OR, they had me sit on the hospital bed and hold Owen while they wheeled us down. I said good-bye to Ben, and he went to wait in the waiting room until Owen was taken back. When we got to the holding area, they gave Owen a little goodie bag with some toys that helped to distract him while we were waiting. They also had some cartoons on TV that caught his eye every once in awhile.
A few minutes later we were wheeled back up to the first room we were in where we were supposed to stay about an hour or so just to make sure he was recovering well. They got Owen some juice, crackers, and a fruit cup, and he was very happy to finally be able to eat some food. He particularly liked the fruit cup and was very sad when it was gone, so I actually asked if he could have another one. Here he is after surgery enjoying some food and seeing himself in the camera.
Once Ben got Samantha off to school and finished getting Aedan ready, they came over to the hospital to hang out with us until Owen got discharged. Once Owen got some food in his system, he was right back to his normal self, running back and forth across the hospital room, hiding behind the curtain, and trying to climb on the chairs and bed.
To help pass the time, we put on a little show for them on the TV. Aedan brought these two stuffed animals with him and was kind enough to share one of the animals with Owen. These two boys are pretty cute together. :)
We got back mid-morning and Owen was acting completely like normal. The surgery was quick and easy, and we have to do ear drops twice a day for a week, as well as keep ear plugs in his ears when he might be putting his head under water, but other than that there were no special instructions. It will be interesting to see how much getting these tubes will help him out and if he gets ear infections a lot less. I sure hope so.
After finding out on Thursday that the Dallas house didn't accept our offer, Ben and I had to decide what to do. Now, looking back, I'm not sure why I was so confused about what our next step should be. And actually, I'm not sure if it was confusion more than just feeling the enormity of our decision, and just putting way too much pressure on myself to make sure everyone would be happy, that the house would work for us and our kids and our desire to continue fostering, and that we would be proud of where we lived. So, we decided to put an offer on the Cape Cod house in Harvey's Lake. Our realtor told us that the owners had already received two offers that they had rejected, but when they heard our solid offer, they came right back and accepted it. They were out of town, so it took a day or so to get the official paperwork, but they were no longer going to show the house to anyone nor were they going to accept any more offers. I was so relieved when I heard that news from our realtor. First of all, it's amazing that they just so happened to reject the other two offers they were given on the house, because with how long we were going back and forth with the owners of the Dallas house, we could have very well lost the Harvey's Lake house as well. I was also thrilled that they accepted our offer, and we didn't have to go back and forth with price negotiation. So now, we officially have a home in Pennsylvania! Now it was becoming more and more real, and Ben and I were excited to show these pictures our our new house to the kids. It is beautiful, inside and out, and it will be exciting to make this house our new home. Here are pictures of our new home!
The rest of the week went by like usual with swim lessons on Thursday night (although we didn't let Owen go swimming since he had just had surgery that morning). It was Parent's Night, so Ben went in the water with the kids and split his time between Samantha and Aedan. Friday morning the people that are buying our house had their inspection scheduled, so I took the boys out to a MOPS play date that morning at Burger King so they could do the inspection and look around the house without us being in the way. Samantha came home from school on Friday saying her tummy hurt. She had a slight fever and was having diarrhea, so most of Friday and Saturday we just laid low to let her recover. I had thought about suggesting that we go over to Canada to swim, but not with her not feeling well. However, we had fun just spending time together and letting the kids have more relaxed play time together. Ben and I didn't mind having some downtime after the big, stressful week we had had as well.
(Blog about May 5-11, 2019)
