Aedan: 67 Months, Week 4
Owen: 26 Months, Week 2
Since I spent most of Saturday afternoon and evening finishing up the lights outside the house since the weather was pretty good, we waited until Sunday afternoon to get the ornaments out and decorate the tree together as a family. We got all the ornaments laid out on the play table, lining up the kids ornaments from each year and talking about why we chose that ornament for them that year. The kids were really excited about decorating this year and really did a great job putting the ornaments on the tree, and once Owen woke up from his nap, he helped us put up some ornaments as well. It was a fun afternoon, and then Samantha and Aedan even wanted to help me put the other Christmas decorations up around the house. By the end of the evening it looked like Christmas all around our house, and I loved it. Everything is so beautiful all decorated for Christmas.
I decided to take some pictures of the outside of our house from down near the road. I loved that you could see our Christmas tree through the front window, and I was very pleased with how the lights turned out. Everything looked so pretty lit up with lights.
After pulling the muscle in my back on Friday, it was finally starting to feel better on Sunday afternoon, but then I tried to pick up a box of Christmas stuff while I was cleaning stuff up and hurt it even more. I couldn't even get up off the floor. Before, it was just hurting when I would bend over or try to lift something, but then it was hurting even when I would try to walk around, so that was definitely not good.
That night around midnight, the power went off, and after looking online, we discovered it was because someone had gotten into an accident where they hit one of the power poles. We hoped that it would turn back on soon and that it wouldn't bother our kids too much. That's the one downside to having sound machines in the kids' rooms because they tend to wake up when they turn off. Samantha did end up coming downstairs and asking us what happened, but Owen never woke up, which we were grateful for. Even when we got up the next morning, the power was still not back on, so we had to get ready for school and work without using much water or opening the refrigerator. In fact, the kids and I were loading up into the car to head to McDonald's for breakfast before dropping them off at the van, when the power turned back on, so we went back inside to just eat breakfast at home. It was nice to have the power back on, and then I had a lot of jobs lined up to do now that I could use the water, but first I had to reset our water tank that is connected to our well. Then, I had dishes to wash, a dishwasher to unload, and clothes in the washer that stopped in the middle of a cycle. Luckily, Owen and I didn't have any plans that morning, other than picking up groceries from Walmart, so we were able to just spend the morning at home getting things cleaned up and taken care of.
Here is some of the work the kids brought home from school on Monday. With it being Thanksgiving week, a lot of Aedan's work centered around that, along with work for the letter Nn, and learning ways to make 10 in math.
This video of Owen is cute for a couple reasons. One, he is singing the "fruit song" that Samantha made up. We usually save the fruit for after the kids have eaten the rest of the meal. Everyone likes fruit so much that they tend to not want anything else, especially Owen. So, Samantha and Aedan will usually sing that song when we bring the bowl of fruit to the table. Well, now Owen sings the song, too, and it's pretty cute. The other reason I like this video is because you can see how Owen twirls his hair around in the back of his head. It used to be something he would just do when he was tired, but now he does it a lot during the day. This little boy definitely loves playing with hair, whether it's his own or someone else's.
Tuesday was a busy day for us because I invited moms over from my Bible study for play time since we weren't meeting that week due to Thanksgiving. It was fun to have people over to our home, and Owen really enjoyed having friends over to play with. I enjoy opening up our home to people, and it was a good way to keep my mind off things as my big test was coming up that night. I had studied as much as I could for it over the weekend, reviewing the practice test and looking up certain topics and terms that I was more unfamiliar with. I found myself feeling very nervous about it because I hadn't taken a test like this in a long time and I didn't do as well on the practice test as I hoped I would, so I was psyching myself out about it being harder than I expected. Ben got home around lunchtime, and then after reviewing things for a little while, I headed out, giving myself plenty of time to get to the testing center before 3:00. I didn't really care what my scores would be as long as I passed, so I was really hoping I would do well enough to at least pass. The test had three modules and I found them much easier than the practice test, which I was thankful for. I took about 2 1/2 hours to finish all three modules, and they even printed out a score report, which I was really thankful for, as I could see that I very clearly passed all three modules. I felt excited and confident leaving the testing center that evening, and I couldn't wait to tell Ben what I got.
Ben was already eating with the kids when I got home, and then he went out with Samantha to the school roller skating event. Aedan could have gone as well, but he was tired and had been making bad decisions all night, like sticking his hand in the toilet water for an example, so we decided it would be best for him to just stay home and go to bed at a decent time.
Ben said that Samantha was having fun trying roller skating for the first time. She knew some people there from school, and she was about ready to give up when she couldn't do it easily and kept falling, but Ben gave her a pep talk and then she was doing better after that. Ben texted me and said how happy he was that it seemed like she actually had friends at school. We never really felt like she had good friends at school in Michigan. He said they were nice and hanging out with her, going slow with her and helping her along. I'm glad that Ben was able to take her to this school event.
Ben said that Samantha was having fun trying roller skating for the first time. She knew some people there from school, and she was about ready to give up when she couldn't do it easily and kept falling, but Ben gave her a pep talk and then she was doing better after that. Ben texted me and said how happy he was that it seemed like she actually had friends at school. We never really felt like she had good friends at school in Michigan. He said they were nice and hanging out with her, going slow with her and helping her along. I'm glad that Ben was able to take her to this school event.
For some reason Wednesday was really hard for me personally. I was working on cleaning the house, getting ready for Ben's parents coming in to town for Thanksgiving, and also just to clean the house because it had been awhile since it got a thorough cleaning. However, as I was cleaning I found some papers from when I went to the doctor during our period of infertility before getting pregnant with Owen, and I was 20 pounds lighter than I am now. I couldn't believe that I had gained so much weight and started to feel really bad about myself. I have been pretty inconsistent with exercise lately or really, always, if I'm honest. I have had a hard time making it a priority, and easily let other things push it aside. I know it was stressful over the past few years with trying to get pregnant, Ben looking for new jobs, being slightly unhappy living in the U.P., and Owen being a really hard baby. Also, I tend to be an emotional eater, so when I'm stressed and tired and sad, I tend to crave more sugary food. Plus, I hardly exercised at all during that time. I did when we first moved to Michigan. I would take Aedan to the gym down the street and push him in the stroller and did a couch to 5k app, but once I started working and got pregnant, all that went away. I know life is not all about how you look or how much you weigh, but I definitely don't like what I see when I look in the mirror or how my clothes are fitting my lately, and I get worried that I won't be able to get weight off any more because I'm getting older and am not consistent in being healthier, that I will just be this way forever, or that I will just keep getting worse. I just always have so many things to do that I feel like I can't keep up with life in general, so exercise just gets pushed aside. The daily stuff like laundry, dishes, and keeping the house clean and picked up is just more time consuming. I feel like I finally get into a good rhythm and then something happens that takes up a lot of my time like getting sick, putting up all the Christmas stuff, and studying for my test. I keep trying to get caught up on my blog as well, and that doesn't seem to be happening either because of the same reasons. I was just having a hard time balancing everything and feeling overwhelmed and like I basically never sit down and play with my kids either. I was really rethinking the exercise I was attempting to do so I can get my heart rate up and actually burn calories. I had been doing an online Pilates program sporadically over the last couple of months, but I need to find a time that works, that I can do it consistently. Before when I was exercising, I would do it right after getting the kids to bed, because then it also helped me not to snack in the evenings if I just worked out. Anyways, enough about that, I just wish that it was something I could be more consistent in, and I was talking to my sister about possibly switching to an exercise program that she was doing that gives more variety and more intensive workouts than what I was getting in Pilates, so it was definitely something to think about.
The kids had a long Thanksgiving break with Thursday, Friday, and Monday off of school, so they were excited to come home Wednesday night and were looking forward to Ema and Papa arriving at our house that night as well. Here is some work Aedan brought home from school, with lots of cute Thanksgiving papers.
The kids had a long Thanksgiving break with Thursday, Friday, and Monday off of school, so they were excited to come home Wednesday night and were looking forward to Ema and Papa arriving at our house that night as well. Here is some work Aedan brought home from school, with lots of cute Thanksgiving papers.
Jenn
Ema and Papa arrived that night around dinnertime, and the kids were SO excited to have them at our house for quite a long visit. They brought some fun things with them, like another bin of books of mine from when I was teaching, as well as these old jerseys from Ben and old dresses of mine. Aedan thought he was pretty cool wearing these basketball jerseys, and he looks even cooler with his hair spiked up in a mohawk.
Here is Owen after I got him up for the day on Thanksgiving morning. He was just so cute cuddling up into me that I wanted to take a picture of how he fits into my arms at 2 years and 2 months old. He is so sweet and cuddly, and he still loves to lay his head on your shoulder, the same way he has loved being held since he was in infant. Sometimes I wish he would be more independent, but most of me is glad that he still wants us to hold him like this, that he still enjoys falling asleep in our arms, and that I get to enjoy holding my last baby.
Having Ben's parents visit is always a relaxing experience. They are helpful and involved with the kids and around the house. After breakfast, one of our morning activities was the kids making turkey cookies with Ema. They made these in Upland several years ago and Aedan remembered making them, so he requested that she bring the supplies to make them again. They were very excited to put the cookies together with Ema's help and supervision.
We let the kids watch Frozen while we finished the last minute parts of the Thanksgiving meal, and it was a nice, relaxing day with family. We were glad to be able to be home for a holiday, to not have to travel, and to be able to open our home to family. We were super thankful that Ben's parents were willing to come out to our house.
Ben and I really enjoyed hosting Thanksgiving dinner. We like planning and cooking food, and we have found several good recipes for the traditional Thanksgiving good. We had turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, rolls, homemade cranberry sauce, and salad. We also had pumpkin and pecan pie for dessert. The food was all delicious, and everyone thoroughly enjoyed the meal.
On Friday morning the kids were getting a little antsy being cooped up inside the house, so we all went on a walk around our neighborhood, exploring a new street we had never been on before, and giving Izzy a nice walk as well. It was a little chilly, as a cold front had come in on Thanksgiving, but it was fun to just walk and talk and enjoy each other's company outdoors. When we got back inside, I made the kids hot chocolate in our "hot chocolate-o maker" as Samantha calls it. They enjoyed having their mini-marshmallows, and ice cubes helped to cool the hot chocolate down faster.
Then, our whole life changed in an instant as we got a call from Children and Youth Services about two kids that needed a home. Ben and I got some initial information about them and said we would call them back soon. We talked about it, prayed about it, went out and talked to Ben's parents about it, and then called them back saying that we would accept them. They were just waiting at the office, so they were dropped off at our house a little after 2:00. It's such a surreal experience having two kids that you really don't know much about simply be dropped off at your home. We are strangers to them as well, and we did our best to be welcoming without being overbearing. Samantha was so excited about our call that she lost her appetite and couldn't even eat the rest of her lunch. We now have a 6 year old girl and 2 year old boy, and our life was a whirlwind of activity after that. The kids really seemed okay and were enjoying playing with all the new toys in our house and playing with Samantha, Aedan, and Owen. We had to get a crib set up for the little boy to sleep in, and as of right now we just planned on having the two of them sleep in our extra room together. Ema and Papa were a big help in getting the crib set up and even washing the clothes and blankets that were brought from CYS. We tried to get them to eat lunch, but the little girl wasn't too interested in sitting down to eat. She had had a big day, and I'm sure she was tired and overwhelmed with all the changes that were happening in her life. Plus, the little girl has ADHD, so she was fluttering about quite a bit, not playing with any one thing very long.
Our original plan was to go see Frozen 2 with Samantha and Aedan, Ema and Papa that afternoon, but with the sudden change of plans, I wasn't sure what we should do. I knew the kids would be disappointed if they couldn't go see the movie, and I didn't want the little girl to feel left out if we made her stay home, so I decided that I would go with Ema, Aedan, Samantha, and the little girl to see the movie that afternoon while Ben and Papa stayed home with Owen and the little boy during nap time. Looking back it was probably a little crazy taking our new little girl to the movies, but she really did pretty well. I got a bag of popcorn to split among all the kids, which made them pretty happy. I sat right next to the little girl so I could help her, and she needed quite a bit of redirection. Her attention span was fairly short, and she wanted to keep standing up during the movie and asked me when we were going to leave several times. I would just tell her to sit and that we would leave when the movie was over. I felt like I only half watched the movie, but I think the kids all had a good time watching the movie, and it was a good way to spend the afternoon out of the house for a little while.
On the way home we picked up pizza from Grotto Pizza for dinner, and even though it was difficult to get the little girl to sit down and eat at lunch, dinner was much easier, maybe because she was hungry, or maybe because she saw all the rest of us eating. Both new kids had a good dinner, and we were pleased with how well the little boy seemed to be doing as well. Ben had to sit with him at nap time because he fell asleep in his arms and then woke up when he laid him down, continuing to cry every time he tried to lay him back down. But other than that, which is understandable considering strange people were trying to lay him down in an unfamiliar house, he seemed pretty easygoing.
Bedtime was a little more difficult because we obviously had no idea what their normal bedtime routine or even bedtime was. There was a lot of crying from the little girl, and she kept trying to run away from us as we were trying to get her ready for bed. They both cried quite a bit at bedtime, and it was hard with the little boy because he would be really comfortable in your arms, but cry as soon as you laid him down, so there really wasn't much of a point to keep holding him. The girl cried for her mom and tried to come out of her room several times, which would then upset her brother, so it was quite the process trying to calm them down for bed, which again is normal for having new kids in your home that you don't know. Once they finally settled down, we just hoped that they would sleep well, and we knew they were tired after this long, traumatic day where they were removed from their home.
Accepting children from hard places into your home is always hard and is always an adjustment. I think Samantha and Aedan were a little shocked and surprised by their behavior that first day and night. I think Samantha had an idealized vision of what she thought it would be like to have another little girl living with us, someone who could be a playmate and be the perfect little friend for her. I also overheard Aedan telling Ema at bedtime, "We're definitely not keeping them..." So it was a lot. It was an overwhelming day for everyone involved, but I just reminded myself of the foster care podcast that I listened to recently that really encouraged me. It said to take one day at a time, to wake up each morning and say yes to caring for the kids for that day, just as we said yes on the phone to have them placed in our home. We can't look weeks or even days down the road, we can't get bogged down in the difficulty of the day and let that discourage us, we can't let doubt fill our minds and fill us with fear. We simply must be obedient to God in this calling he has placed on our life and choose to sacrifice of our family, our home, our time, and our love and choose to say yes for these kids each day they are in our home until they get to go back home with their parents.
Their first night in our home went surprisingly well, and it's such a learning process when new kids come into your home because you don't know anything about them, what they like, what their habits are, or anything. The little boy cried for a little while and then talked until he fell asleep a little before 9:30. We put the bunny clock that we have in their room, and the girl didn't come out of her room until it changed, which is a miracle. It was really a pretty good night. Ben and I slept lightly that night so we could keep an ear out for things, especially since she was a flight risk in the past. We put barricades in front of all our doors to the outside, and we also put a gate up at the bottom of the stairs so that we would know if she tried to come down during the night. Ben and I usually sleep with our door closed, but we didn't that night, and probably won't for awhile so that way we can hear what's going on outside our room, if needed. Ben and I slept very lightly that night because it's strange knowing you have two new people sleeping in your home, but we were glad that they seemed to sleep really well that first night.
Saturday was a better day with the kids. We didn't have anything in particular to do, so Samantha was really sweet that morning in helping me get clothes hung up in the closets for the kids. (We were so glad that we kept all these bins of clothes from our kids because we had everything we needed stored right in our attic!) The little girl was excited to try on some of the little dresses we had from Samantha. After a good night's sleep, the girl was much more calm, it was fun watching her play with things in our house, and play Legos with Aedan and Barbies with Samantha.
The little boy enjoyed sitting and playing at our piano.
That morning Samantha and Aedan got out their cars for the AWANA Grand Prix so they could design and paint them. Papa brought his saw and some extra wood pieces to add to their cars. Samantha made hers look like a police car and Aedan made his look like a tank. They were glad to have Papa's help in making their cars look more unique.
Something else we were going to do with Ema and Papa was to go through a drive through Christmas light display called Stone Hedge. We had heard a lot of good things about it and wanted to check it out, so we decided to be brave and take the kids out to see the lights that night. We ate an early dinner and then piled all the kids into the van. The kids were really excited to see all the lights, and it really was pretty impressive. They had so many different themes like tunnels of lights, Charlie Brown characters skating, space, Cars, The Wizard of Oz, Toy Story, water animals, trucks, and super heroes. The kids were able to see very easily out their windows, and even though we didn't stop to go inside the building for any of the activities, it still was a really neat experience and something we will definitely turn into a Christmas tradition.
Our evening as a family of seven went pretty well until the end of the night, and a lot of that was probably just due to everyone being tired. We were out past bedtime and everyone was getting grumpy and tired. After driving through the lights, the little girl would not sit right in her booster seat and kept pestering Samantha, who was sitting right next to her, and just kept asking question after question. We decided the little girl was not ready for a booster seat with a regular seat belt because she wasn't sitting safely, so we would be switching her to our other car seat with the five point harness instead. Then, when we were about fifteen minutes from home, the little boy threw up all over himself and his car seat and there really was nothing we could do about it until we got home because it was such a mess. Needless to say, it smelled super gross in the car, and those were the longest fifteen minutes ever spent stuck in the car. We weren't sure why he got sick, and we were hoping that it was not because he was coming down with something, but instead may have been because of how much food he ate that day and the fact that he hadn't pooped since he came to our house. Or, maybe he just got car sick? We really didn't know, but we hoped it was just a random event.
As soon as we got back home, I took the four kids upstairs to start working on getting everyone ready for bed while Ben got the little boy out of his car seat and into the bath tub. Once we finally got everyone tucked into bed, he and I worked on removing the car seat, cleaning up the car, and putting all the gross clothes and car seat cover into the washer. By the time we were done with all that, it was pretty much time for Ben and I to fall into bed ourselves. Going from three to five kids is definitely challenging and exhausting, but we were glad to share this special Christmas experience with them. As we went to bed and I was feeling defeated by the way the night ended, Ben helped me reflect back on the whole day and how good the whole day was except for the last hour of the night, so I feel asleep encouraged that we made it through another day of loving on these new kids and enveloping them in the love, security, and craziness that comes with being part of a family.
(Blog about November 24-30, 2019)
