Samantha: 117 Months, Week 4
Aedan: 85 Months, Week 2
Owen: 41 Months, Week 4
Sunday mornings continue to be a little different around here with church not being in person yet because of Covid. We usually watch church online in the morning and then just have more of a relaxing day hanging out at home. Here are my sweet little boys reading together in the rocking chair before Owen took his nap. I love watching Aedan read to Owen, and Owen loves it so much. He loves to listen to books, and he loves his big brother so much.
As we were getting ready for a new week, here is the work the kids brought home on Friday. Aedan did a matching sums worksheet, drew a very detailed Ninja Turtle drawing, and he got a 100% on his weekly reading test, which he does pretty much every week. These little weekly stories are too easy for him, and he gets frustrated and bored reading the same story all week long, but we are proud of this good work nonetheless.
While Owen napped that afternoon, Aedan decided it would be a good time to play with Play-Doh. He made lots of cool things with many different colors and wanted me to take pictures of all of his creations. He's such a cute little boy, and I love that he still wants to play with things like Play-Doh and use his imagination to create.
After a more low key morning and afternoon at home, we had small group that evening at the Chapman's house and then had to leave early to attend a Family Membership Meeting Time at church. As they start looking into getting back into being in person on Easter Sunday, they wanted to just touch base with all the members to hear about how things are going, what things have been going well, and what things need to be done better. They had childcare provided, so that was a good time to reconnect with people at church again, even if it made our evening a little busier, and we got our kids back home later than what we would like.
Since we had to leave small group early that night, I sent a long message to everyone when we got home because I felt so burdened for Samantha and wanted to give more detail about her trouble with sleeping, and her issues with anxiety. Ben and I have been feeling really worried about her and how to help her, so much so that there are nights we also have trouble sleeping because we feel so bad for her and at such a loss of what to do. For example, last Tuesday night she couldn't fall asleep because she had a math test on Wednesday that she was nervous about and felt like she was not ready for (even though she was). She had a really hard day on Wednesday because she was so tired from being up until close to midnight the night before. She said it was hard to focus in school, and she was even unable to finish her math test that day because she got stuck on a problem and just could not focus enough. When I picked her up from the van after school, I could tell on her face that she had a hard time at school. When I started talking to her about it at home, she just started sobbing in my arms because of not being able to finish the math test and feeling worried about being accused of cheating if she would have left it in her folder and brought it home. She was an emotional mess, and I know a lot of it was because she was up so late the night before, and because of the immense pressure she puts on herself. We always reassure her that her grades don't matter to us, that we love her no matter what, even if she gets questions wrong. We try to deemphasize grades as much as possible because we know she holds herself to perfection. We always say that all that matters to us is that she tries her best, whatever that looks like. Last Thursday she came home having a much better day after getting good sleep that night and finding out she actually got 100% on her math test. So she was that worried and concerned about a test that she was clearly doing well on in the first place. She really only seems to get this worried about math tests. She will study for other tests, but she doesn't seem to be overly worried about her grade.
We also had two other instances this past week where she could not fall asleep at night. On Friday night Ben and I went out on a date and had a babysitter at home with our kids. Before we left, Samantha was in tears because she didn't want us to leave. She wanted us to have fun, but she didn't want us to be gone. It was something different for her to get used to, and she felt nervous. We were gone for about four hours. It was a relatively low key night with playing at home, eating dinner, watching part of a movie, and having individual reading time before bed. Ben and I got home around 8:45 when the babysitter had just finished putting Samantha to bed, and we went up to give her a hug and kiss good night. Nevertheless, she still had trouble falling asleep that night and again was up until almost midnight. She came downstairs several times to tell us that she couldn't sleep.
This same situation happened last night. We were out past bedtime because of family time at Restored, and it seems like it's almost a guarantee now that if we are out late, she will have a hard time falling asleep. She was again up until almost midnight last night. She came downstairs twice to tell us she couldn't sleep, including once when the house was dark and Ben and I were already in bed. These problems have gone on for the last three months or so, but it has definitely gotten worse in the last month. Having trouble sleeping used to just happen occasionally, maybe once a week or when she was nervous about a test or had a lot of excitement before bed. But now it's happening at least twice a week, and she keeps getting out of bed and coming downstairs to talk to us, which is something she has never done before, not even as a toddler/preschooler. Sometimes it's related to something we can pinpoint, like being nervous about a math test or being out late, but other times it happens on nights where everything is normal and we have a normal bedtime routine. However, it does seem like lately any change is throwing her sleep off, so much so that Ben and I feel like we can't do anything anymore that would take her out of her normal routine at home, or she will inevitably have a hard time falling asleep.
Also, it seems like this trouble with sleeping has gotten worse since the beginning of December when we were preparing more for our foster baby to return home, and then got even worse after she went home and her and Aedan no longer shared a room. We have had a hard time knowing if our foster baby leaving our home has been part of Samantha's sleep problem or not. Samantha loves that little baby and grew really attached to her. She took it really hard when she went home in December, and I think she may be processing through mourning her loss. Even just last night, when Samantha came down to our room at 11:30, she said she had a bad dream of our foster baby on fire. Whenever we talk about her or look at pictures of her, Samantha will often get teary-eyed or cry. Even this morning when I was talking to her about what happened last night and why she thought she dreamed about our foster baby on fire, she said she wasn't sure if it was a dream or just something she was thinking about. I asked her if she thinks about our foster baby at night a lot, and she said "Yes," and then started crying. She said she thinks a lot about how she's doing at her mom's house, and if they are taking care of her well. I reassured her that Ben and I miss her too, and we think about her a lot as well. I also told her that caseworkers are still involved with her and are making sure she is doing okay and would remove her again if they felt like she wasn't safe. We still have not put our names back on the list to receive calls for another placement, and to be honest, with everything going on with Samantha, I feel hesitant to do so. I don't know if it would be helpful or harmful to Samantha to have another child come into our home that she would know she will have to say good-bye to at some point. I don't want her to have something else that is giving her anxiety or making it hard for her to fall asleep.
We are worried about Samantha, we are starting school counseling with her this week, and I will be calling her pediatrician to see what we may need to do for further counseling. The nights where Samantha is up late struggling to fall asleep also make it hard for Ben and I to calm down to sleep because we are talking about her or thinking about her, so we are losing sleep because of this as well. We hoped the school counseling could be a step in the right direction, but we also wanted to make sure we were trusting the Lord to help counsel and guide us as well.
This probably seems silly to a lot of people, but I was really excited on Monday when my Norwex packages arrived in the mail. I was excited to get everything out of the box later that night and look at everything I got from hosting the online party for Heather. I was so excited to start using these awesome products, I was excited about saving money by only having to use these cloths and water, and I was actually looking forward to the next time I needed to clean the house!
Here is some work the kids brought home from school on Monday. Aedan practiced writing his spelling words, added by using the hundred chart, and subtracted tens. Samantha worked on writing her spelling words with ar or or, and had some Dr. Seuss pictures because of Read Across America Day.
Since Samantha goes up a grade for math, the only way that could work in her schedule is by also going to specials with the 5th graders. Most of that time that's fine, although I would prefer that she just has specials with her own class. However, not having music class with the rest of her 4th grade class this year means that she is missing the lessons on learning the recorder. We let her purchase one anyways, with the intent of practicing and doing the work at home, but she was excited to get the recorder out of the bag on Monday night to play a few notes for me. I really need to get back in to giving her piano lessons like what we were doing during Covid and before we got our last foster baby. She is already learning how to read music and notes through the piano, but I didn't want her to miss out on the experience of learning the recorder. It's an elementary tradition!
Tuesday morning was my grocery shopping day. Owen is always very helpful when we go together. We always go to Aldi first and then anything leftover that we didn't get there, we get across the street at Walmart, then we drive home, I put away all the groceries while he plays, and then we eat lunch and it's time for him to take a nap. It is definitely better only shopping with one kid, and Owen is more like Samantha in actually enjoying going with me. He walks along with me through the store, helps me get things that I need off the shelf, puts them in the cart, helps me tear of plastic bags to put the meat in, and even helps me load all the groceries on the belt. Aedan was always too bored when we would go shopping and would insist on bringing toys. He never wanted to walk, so I had to have a cart where he could sit as we went shopping. Owen is an eager helper, he doesn't whine or beg for me to buy him anything (because he knows if it's not on my list, I'm not going to buy it), and it's usually a pleasant experience for both of us.
Here is some work Samantha brought home on Tuesday: a quotient matching math practice page, word problems, and completing a symmetrical pattern.
As it is nearing the middle of March and the days are getting longer (and slightly warmer), we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of spring after a pretty long and snowy winter. You can see that we still have plenty of snow lining our driveway. I found someone selling a basketball hoop because they were moving away, so I figured that would be a fun addition for our driveway and outside play time. Here they are testing it out that evening before dinner. I love how Aedan was rooting for Samantha the whole time, groaning when she missed and jumping up and down and cheering when she finally made a shot.
We decided to move the basketball hoop on the other side of the driveway to give everyone more space to play, while also pulling out Owen's little basketball hoop so he could play along with the big kids, as he was too short to try to shoot the ball into the big hoop. I love how Aedan is playing in snow boots and winter gloves because the ball got cold from hitting the snow, but he refused to wear a winter coat because it was "warm" outside. The snow actually helped them rebound the ball better because it didn't roll away down the hill as much. Aedan even cheered for Owen as he made a basket. He is such a kind, supportive brother.
Here is some work that the kids brought home from school on Tuesday. Aedan was working on making ten to add, writing his spelling words with er, ir, and ur, adding the correct word to make a sentence, and practice with adding ones and tens to make two-digit numbers. Samantha brought home a spelling test that she got 21/20 on because she got the bonus word correct as well.
Samantha had gymnastics at 5:00 that evening, so while the boys played basketball outside, Ben took Samantha, and I worked on dinner so it would be ready when they got back home.
I was glad that the kids were enjoying playing basketball outside. In fact, they were outside before school that morning playing while they were waiting until it was time to go down to the van. Samantha was upset she didn't get as much time to play the night before, but they were having a great time playing outside that morning. It was fun watching Samantha cheer for Aedan, just like he was doing the day before. I'm glad that they enjoy playing together like this. I know they won't always want to go outside and play together, which makes me sad to think about, so I had to take a moment to just watch them and encourage them.
That morning I had JAM at Fellowship Church. They only meet once a month, but it's a fun time when we get together. Owen has gotten used to going in the room with the other kids, and it's nice to have some time to just sit and talk with other moms for a little while. It gives Owen and I something to go do when there really isn't much going on for us during the week.
That afternoon as I started to walk down to get the kids from the van, I noticed something sitting in the snow that caught my attention. Ben's car keys that have been missing for quite some time! They were sitting in the snow bank next to where we keep our trash cans. The snow must have melted down enough that they were finally exposed. Mystery solved! Ben was glad to have these back and chuckled when I sent him the pictures of where I found them.
As I mentioned earlier, we discussed with the school counselor what was going on with Samantha's anxiety and trouble with sleeping, so she is going to meet with her six times to address some of those concerns. On Wednesday she had her first meeting with the counselor where they got to know each other, and she gave her a notebook she could write in at bedtime what she is thankful for and worried about, kind of like she's putting her worries to bed. I am glad Samantha has this opportunity to talk to someone about how she's feeling, and I hope it is beneficial for her and a step in the right direction.
Here is some work the kids brought home from school. Aedan practiced adding, wrote words with contractions, drew some Dog Man and Star Wars pictures, and made a map of his room with Pikachu and Happy Teddy included, of course. I love that he's holding Happy Teddy in his picture. He is definitely the most important thing in his room. Samantha practiced multiplying with fractions and mixed numbers, had a Social Studies review packet, and got -1 on a Math Mid-Chapter Checkpoint.
Sometimes Owen takes really long naps, and Wednesday was one of those days. It was 4:30, and he was still sleeping, so I went in to wake him up so he wouldn't sleep for too long and not be able to sleep well that night. This is what I found when I walked in, and it stopped me in my tracks because he was just so cute. He often falls asleep with his head propped up on his folded arms like this. He was so peaceful looking, and he didn't notice that I walked in the room. There is just something so precious about watching your kids sleep. In fact, I didn't really want to wake him. I just watched him for a while, even laying down next to him and cuddling next to him while he continued to sleep. Man, I love this little boy of mine.
I took this picture of our refrigerator and dishwasher because I used the Norwex stainless steel cloth to clean the doors, and I was so impressed with how shiny and clean it made them without using any chemicals.
Owen still likes to cuddle when he wakes up from his naps. He is slow to wake up and needs a few minutes with you before he is ready to get down and play. I asked Ben to take some pictures of us together because I want to remember this about him. He has always been such a cuddler, and although he is getting bigger, I can still hold him so his head can rest on my shoulder just like when he was a baby, and it brought me right back to those moments, so much so that it almost brought tears to my eyes. Why do kids have to grow up so fast? Right before your very eyes, and you don't realize it until you look back and see how much they have changed and grown.
These pictures are some of my favorites of him and me. I couldn't just choose one. He melts my heart with his sweet cuddles. I just love them and him.
Wednesday was an AWANA night, so the kids are always up later on those nights. Here is Owen in bed at 8:30, and you can tell he is a little wired from having fun at AWANA. He was laughing so much that he couldn't even say what he wanted to say, then he didn't make any noise, and then he just started making loud, silly noises. He likes having my undivided attention at bedtime, and to him, it's a great time to be silly.
On Thursday, I invited Kaili over to our house for a playdate. Now that things are starting to get a little better with Covid and vaccines are starting to be available, I'm trying to reach out more to other moms and invite them over to play so that Owen has other kids to play with, and I get the chance to get to know other moms. Sometimes it's difficult making friends as a mom, and we haven't even lived her for two years yet, so I am still trying to find my place and find friends so I don't feel so lonely and isolated.
That evening got a little busier than we expected because Owen had gymnastics at 3:30, so Ben got home early to take him there, and then since it was such a beautiful day outside, we wanted to take advantage of the chance to be outside. We met with our small group at Frances Slocum for the kids to play, just as another way to get together outside of group. The kids had a lot of fun together, and it's been great actually getting to know the families in our group better. It started raining towards the end of our time at the park, so instead of eating pizza there like we originally planned, we decided to go to III Guys with the Peiffers and eat together. It was so fun doing this with their family. We have never really gone out to dinner with friends before, and it made me feel like we were finally getting to know people that we could see really developing a strong friendship with. Our kids sat down on one end of the time, and the adults sat at the other, and we had a great time sharing more about our history, growing up, how we met, and how we ended up where we are now, which is information we don't usually share in a small group setting. The kids did a great job waiting patiently, even though it took a while to get our pizza, but the food was really good, and we had a great evening out with friends.
On Friday, Samantha looked so tired that morning. It was hard for Ben and I to see her like that. This whole not being able to sleep thing is not working. She was up late again on Thursday night, walking around the house and standing outside our bedroom door because she wants to talk to us about not being able to sleep. She can't do life like this, and we were feeling so burdened for her. In fact, Owen and I went to church to hang out with the other moms that morning, and I ended up crying quite a bit when I described this situation to them. I was heartbroken for her, I didn't know what to do to help her, and I felt like it was getting worse and more often. It was affecting her health and well-being as well as Ben's and mine, and I was honored when the ladies stopped to pray for me and for Samantha as tears just streamed down my face. I am so thankful for this group of ladies and the fellowship I have in meeting with them.
Owen and I had a busy morning with getting to church, and I was so tired that I forgot to put shoes on Owen, so I had to just carry him into the church. We stayed later than I expected and weren't going to have time to go back home for lunch before picking up the kids from the van early since they had a 1:00 dismissal that afternoon. So, I decided to go through the McDonald's drive-thru to get lunch instead so we could eat in the car as we drove back up to Harvey's Lake. Owen was fine with that arrangement.
Here are some pictures of Aedan from school on Friday, practicing his math fact flashcards and going outside to enjoy the somewhat warmer weather.
Here is some work the kids brought home on Friday. Aedan has a color by number addition page and picking a word to finish a sentence, along with many little drawings, and a color by number sight word page. Samantha got a 100% on her Social Studies test and did a spelling page practicing words with consonant pairs, ng, nk, ph, and wh.
The kids always enjoy early release days because they have extra time to play at home, and it's always a good way to end a week. A lot of times I let them watch a movie while Owen is napping, which makes an even better way to spend the afternoon. I like having them home early, and it's been nice to have more early release days this year. I miss Samantha and Aedan when they are at school.
On Saturday we kind of took it easy at home. Ben worked on making this decadent chocolate raspberry cake that is on the cover of his Great British Baking Show Book. We made it to share with small group the next day. We were hosting, so we spent some time cleaning and picking up the house. Also, Aedan had gymnastics at 4:00, and Ben took him to that as well so I could stay home and do work on my assignment for my class. Anyways, doesn't this cake look delicious? Other than it looking slightly lopsided, it looked exactly like the one on the cover of the book. We couldn't wait to test it out on Sunday night! Ben is such a talented baker and makes such delicious things.
(Blog about March 7-13, 2021)
