Samantha: 114 Months, Week 1
Aedan: 81 Months, Week 3
Owen: 38 Months, Week 1
On Sunday, November 15th, we decided to take a family trip down to Philadelphia to visit the Legoland Discovery Center. We have a member's pass and just felt like getting out of town for awhile. Plus, Sunday's visit was cancelled for our little peanut due to her sisters being exposed to Covid, so we had a little more free time to work with. Ben actually texted our friends Neil and MJ who live in Philadelphia to see if they would want to join us. We left that morning, stopped at Panera for lunch before leading to the Legoland Discovery Center for the afternoon. We figured Owen would be able to handle an afternoon of not napping. They still have things different due to Covid restrictions, so the kids check out sanitized bags of Legos from the information desk to play with and then return them when they are done. We had a little issue that day because Aedan tried to "smuggle" Lego guys from home into the discovery center by stuffing them into his pockets. Legos aren't as fun to him if he doesn't have Lego figures to play with, too. However, he did not ask if this was okay, and we told him that it wouldn't be a good idea because he could end up losing his figures, or someone else might think they can take them and play with them. That made Aedan pretty upset at us, and he had it in his mind that he wasn't going to have a fun day because of that. However, when checking into the discovery center, I asked about Lego figures, and they said the information desk has some that you can borrow, if you ask. Aedan thought that was a good solution to the problem, so each kid was able to get one Lego figure to play with on the structures and things they built throughout our afternoon of playing.
Here are a couple pictures of the kids building and adding on to this display already built. They were being very creative and focused on their building that afternoon. Owen enjoyed joining in as well. Neil and MJ ended up meeting us at the discovery center, so we were able to talk with them while watching the kids build and play. I was a little nervous about taking a big trip like this with our little peanut because we really hadn't gone in the car with her for that long or been out most of the day with her, but she did really well. She slept in the car on the way there and was pretty interested at looking all around at the discovery center. She maybe fell asleep for half an hour or so, but she is definitely in the phase of being stimulated by her environment, so it's harder for her to sleep, but that's okay, since we had a two hour drive back home that she could sleep as well.
Owen enjoyed making a vehicle and sending it down the track while he went down the slide next to it. In this video I think his vehicle had already gone down, and he went down the slide to get it.
We had fun pretending to be ninjas in the laser maze, letting the kids play in the indoor playground, watching a short Ninjago 4D movie, and doing this group build activity where someone walked through the steps of building a penguin out of Legos. Aedan has done this before, but not Samantha or Owen, so we were excited to participate in this. Owen did a really good job following directions. He just needed help pushing the Legos into the correct places on the Lego figure. Samantha and Aedan needed no help, of course, but it was fun to watch them all enjoy the experience.
Here is our little peanut hanging out in Ben's arms during the Lego build.
And here are their final products: completed penguins by everyone. (They don't get to keep them though, after building, they go through the steps of taking it apart.)
Monday, November 16th was a day the kids didn't have school because of giving teachers time to have conferences for kids. Since we were gone the whole day before in Philadelphia, we just had a day at home getting things done around the house and getting the kids to clean up the mess of toys. However, it wasn't a great day all around. The kids were not listening well or being kind either. They were making me feel like a terrible mom. They just haven't been listening when we tell them to do something, and they don't clean up without us raising our voices. Samantha even broke a glass jar in our storage room in the garage because she just threw the ball in the room instead of putting it away properly. I made her get a broom and help clean it up. I got pretty angry at them that day because what could have been done in an hour was drawn out to take all morning. Sometimes they won't clean up unless we are in the same room supervising them, which we don't have time for, especially when they are old enough to do it on their own. I didn't like how angry I let myself get, but it was just so frustrating that no one was doing what they were told. There was a lot of whining and crying and delaying and me telling them over and over what they needed to do. It seemed like they didn't listen until I started yelling and getting really mad at them. However, it was not how I wanted their day off of school to go, and I felt ashamed of myself for letting my anger get the best of me. When they were finally all cleaned up, I did pull them all aside and apologize for how I acted. I explained why I felt the way I did, but that doesn't give me license to act the way I did. They forgave me, and we moved on and had a better afternoon.
In addition to our kids having a hard time that day, our little peanut did not have a good day either. I was so tired of her fighting eating during the day and then wanting to eat multiple times at night. I could barely get her to eat 4 ounces that morning, and she was super cranky that day. She hasn't been eating or sleeping well, so Ben and I decided we would mention it to the doctor at her appointment the following day to see if there was anything going on. It was a tiring, exhausting day all around.
We were able to schedule of the conferences for when Ben would be home from work so he could be a part of the conversation as well. Even though we know Samantha and Aedan are doing well in school, we always like the chance to talk to their teachers and see how they are doing. Our first conference was with Mrs. Wallace, Samantha's Gifted teacher. She only had great things to say about Samantha. She said Samantha participates well and really enjoys the small group environment with just her and Emma. The only suggestion she had for Samantha was to have her work on Rosetta Stone some at home because they don't have a lot of opportunity to work on it at school. Samantha is learning Spanish, and it would be great for her to keep that up.
Our next conference was with Mrs. Hynick, Aedan's teacher. We were the most interested to hear what she had to say because Aedan doesn't seem to enjoy going to school much, complains about it being boring, and is resistant to doing his homework after school. Aedan is doing well overall and getting good grades on his work. He is understanding and completing the work he needs to do. However, she said that he is distracted during math work time, that he's disorganized and doesn't put papers away in his folder. She said there are definitely times when he is not focused on what he needs to do, or that he continues doing something that he wants to get done before he does what he is supposed to do, which causes a bit of a power struggle at times. She also said he gets easily embarrassed about getting things wrong and doesn't raise his hand or volunteer answers much in class. Now, none of those things were surprising to us because we have observed the same thing in his behavior at home. He has a hard time stopping playing and doing something else that he is asked to do. His room and toys are always a mess, and he is resistant to cleaning it up, organizing it, and keeping it that way. His teacher didn't have too many suggestions to help him, but Ben and I decided we would stay more on top of him about bringing papers home and making sure he always puts things in his folder like he's supposed to. I also sent Mrs. Hynick a message the next day wondering if moving him closer to the front of the room would help him stay more focused and become less distracted because he was way in the back of the room before, and especially with how spread out all the desks are due to Covid precautions, he is very disconnected from where she is when she is talking and teaching. She was willing to move him closer to see if that would help. It's so interesting seeing the difference between your children. Samantha has always been so driven and motivated by doing well in school. Aedan is really smart and he is ahead of his class in reading, but he does not have the same motivation level as Samantha, which is okay. We don't expect him to me a mini-Samantha, but we just want to make sure he is learning what he needs to learn and being a respectful student.
The next conference we had was with Mrs. Welby, Samantha's 5th grade math teacher. She also had wonderful things to say about Samantha. She has a 97% for the first quarter, she is quiet in the classroom, but participates well. She did tell us a story about how she will have a book tucked into her desk that she will read when she has downtime, but there have been a couple times she has had to ask her to put it away. That certainly didn't surprise us. Samantha always has a book with her, which reminds me a lot of myself. However, she is doing an excellent job in 5th grade Math, rising to the challenge, and not letting going up a grade intimidate her. Our final conference was with Mrs. Gannon, Samantha's 4th grade homeroom teacher whom she has for Language Arts, Social Studies, and Science. She was getting a 100% in Language Arts, 100% in Social Studies, and 99% in Science, so obviously she was excelling. Mrs. Gannon said she loves participating and will raise her hand a lot in class. She also made a comment about how Samantha will pull a book out to read when she is finished with work, or when she has free time. However, she was saying how refreshing it was to see a student do that. Especially now with the kids having Chrome Books to use at school, a lot of kids will just pull those out to play "educational" games on during their extra time, rather than read a book. She expressed how glad she was that Samantha loves to read so much and that she chooses to do it, rather than only doing it when she is forced to.
It was good talking to Samantha's and Aedan's teachers, even though we had to do it via a phone conference instead of in person. I was glad to hear that they were doing well, as well as learning things we can continue to help them with and encourage them in. A good education is important to us, and although we do not expect them to be perfect or get all As, we tell them what matters is that they try their best.
That evening as we were getting ready for bed, I took a cute video of Aedan tickling our little peanut and making her smile, as she laid on their bedroom floor. I wish I could include it because the way he interacted with her was so precious and sweet, but it showed too much of her face. Our kids are in love with this little baby, and they are excited to find ways to make her smile and watch the way she gets excited when they interact and play with her.
Tuesday was our little peanut's well visit at 9:25. Ben offered to take her that day so that I could get some work done on a big assignment I had for my graduate class. I arranged for my friend, Alysse, to watch Owen for us so that way he wouldn't have to be dragged along to the appointment as well. The appointment took a long time, and he had to do a lot of waiting, especially for her to get her 4 month vaccines, so it was a good thing he didn't have Owen, too. Our little peanut was 17 pounds, 7 ounces which put her in the 91st percentile for weight, but only 2 feet 0.21 inches which put her in the 20th percentile for height. So she is short and thick, as we like to say. Her BMI was 20.91 which put her in the greater than 99th percentile, and her head circumference was 42.5 cm which put her in the 86th percentile. Ben brought up our concerns about her sleeping and eating, and the doctor didn't have any concerns. Everything checked out okay as far as her ears, nose, throat, and breathing was concerned, so he assumed she was just going through a phase. We have thought lately that it could be a 4 month sleep regression, but it was good to hear that there was nothing wrong with her physically. We were to continue her on the meds for her acid reflux, and he supported us giving baby cereal to her in the evening, but stated that trying to give her baby food early would not provide her anything from the nutrition standpoint.
The other big news of the day was that we finally got word that our little peanut's dad's court date is December 16th, only a few days before the planned status hearing on the 22nd where they anticipate the children being returned home as bio mom has been completing all her services and is on track to have her children returned to her. That was a little frustrating to us because the hearing was requested over a month ago, and waiting until December 16th makes it a rather moot point. It wouldn't make any sense to transfer her over to living with her grandma for just five days before going back to live with her mom. It was good to finally have a date, but frustrating that the system was taking so long, and that it looked like her grandma would no longer have the opportunity to take care of her grandchild, even if for a few weeks.
Throughout our conversations as of late, we have been having an issue with our little peanut's caseworker. We were starting to wonder if she had something against us because, according to bio mom, she was warning bio mom about being too friendly with us and wanting to make sure she "keeps a proper relationship" with us. It just seemed odd how she treated us like we are not to be trusted. We get along well with bio mom and want to be a support for her moving forward. We have just been frustrated by the fact that we get more and better information from bio mom and the supervisor, than we do from the caseworker. We talked to our caseworker about it, and she reassured us that it was just her personality, and she is just more reserved and concerned about violating privacy, so she is reticent to give more detail than she deems absolutely necessary. However, this has prevented us from being fully informed on certain things going on, and also has caused unneeded confusion and miscommunication. These are the times when working within the foster care system is frustrating and difficult.
Because our day hadn't already been busy enough with taking our little peanut to the doctor and dealing with her being fussier from the vaccines that she received, Ben and I were both working on dinner that evening when we heard Aedan start crying and screaming as he came running up the stairs. He was holding his head, and you could see blood on his head and hand. We, of course, stopped what we were doing to figure out what happened and check to see how bad of a gash he had. Apparently Owen had taken the end of the stick that holds the play cleaning tools that has a hard plastic piece sticking out of it, and whacked Aedan on the head with the plastic end of the stick, leaving quite the gash in his head. Now, we are guessing that Samantha and Aedan were ignoring Owen and not letting him play with them, which is why he got angry and lashed out, but that doesn't justify what Owen did. We were pretty upset with Owen being so violent toward Aedan, and he immediately went into time out while we figured out what we were going to do. We didn't know if he would need stitches or not, and we also did not know where to go to get it looked at after hours. I put pressure on it to stop it from bleeding, while Ben searched online for what after hour or walk in clinics were open that would accept our insurance.
We found a place down near Wilkes-Barre we could go to who would be able to do something to take care of his head. We didn't want to have to go to the hospital. I took him down since Ben had already been at the doctor with one child that day, and I had been home working most of the day. We had to sit and wait for awhile, as there were a few people in front of us. Aedan just cuddled up next to me on the chair, leaning into me as I put my arm around him, watching a Property Brothers show that was on the waiting room TV. You could tell he was getting tired, but he did a good job waiting patiently. When we were taken back, the doctor said he would need 2 staples, would need to avoid getting the area wet for two days, and could have the staples removed at the doctor of our choice at the beginning of the following week. Aedan was a little nervous thinking about them touching his head, as it was hurting him quite a bit, understandably so. He asked me what the staples would feel like, but was actually really brave during the whole process. They numbed the area first, which helped. He held my hand and leaned into me while they were numbing it and putting the staples in. He was shaking a little as he held my hand, but he didn't cry or freak out. I was really proud of him for being so brave. Here is what it looked like when they were all done. The cream on top is an antibiotic cream to help it heal well.
Aedan and I didn't have a lot of time to eat dinner that evening since we rushed out of the house to get to the doctor. He was talking about being hungry, so we went through the Wendy's drive through on the way home to get him some food. I decided I would just eat leftovers at home because I wasn't in the mood for fast food. When we got back home, Aedan went upstairs to check in with Samantha who was very worried about her little brother and how he was doing, and then sat down to eat his food for a little while, before getting ready for bed himself. Then, it was my turn to eat. It had felt like an incredibly long day, exhausting couple of days.
I hoped that our little peanut wouldn't keep us up too much that night because we were both so tired. But we weren't thinking it was a promising situation because she was fussy the night she got her last round of vaccines at 2 months old; plus, she's been congested and has not been sleeping well for the last week or so anyways. Unfortunately, our prediction was right. It was not a good night at all. We were up with her 6 times. As I went in to all that needed to be done on Wednesday, I kept thinking that I haven't been this exhausted in a long time.
Luckily, school has been going well for Samantha and Aedan. The district had decided to stay open unless the governor forces them to close down. A lot of schools have either always been doing online or have recently switched to doing online, but their school is actually doing pretty well with Covid. There have been cases, but it hasn't ever spread from that one person that was initially reported to have Covid. Also, they quarantine everyone who has had close contact with that person, so so far it seems like it's going well with how they are doing it. We will see what happens, but we are so grateful that our kids have the chance to be in in-person school.
Since our little peanut has an unsupervised visit with her mom on Wednesdays, I usually plan my shopping trip around her going on the visit so that way I only have to take Owen grocery shopping. So I met her mom at the Weis in Dallas to transfer her over to her mom before going out to Tunkhannock to go grocery shopping. Her mom always talks to us for a long time when we drop her off and pick her up, and even though we only want to talk about our little peanut, she always offers more information about other things and things that don't even concern us. We want to be a listening ear and support her, but sometimes we really just want to drop her off/pick her up and go. That day bio mom told me that her heat had been shut off and that she couldn't afford it without the assistance she was previously getting. That concerned me, so we told the caseworkers so they would be made aware of the situation and to make sure they checked things out to be sure her home was appropriate. When we told our caseworker, she stated that bio mom should not be having visits in her home with her heat shut off, especially as the weather is getting colder and we are heading into winter, so that was concerning to everyone involved.
After finally getting on the road, Owen and got the grocery shopping done, got back home, I put the groceries away, Owen and I had lunch, and then I put Owen down for his nap so that I could be ready for my counseling appointment at 2:00. It was a little bit of a hectic time getting all that done in time, but I made it.
Here is some of the work the kids brought home from school that afternoon. Aedan has work practicing words with sh or th, pictures showing an ocean habitat and a wetland habitat, math practice on thinking addition to do subtraction, and a Mid-Chapter Checkpoint Math Page.
We also officially got the kids' report cards for the first parking period. Samantha got P (for Proficient) in Art with a comment that she is courteous and cooperative, P in Music with comments that she has a positive attitude and participates in class, a P in PE with comments that she participates in class and shows high interest level, and a P in Technology Education. She earned a 100% in Language Arts with a comment that she is courteous and cooperative, a 99% in Science, a 100% in Social Studies, and a 97% in Math with a comment that she has good work habits. She had an average of 99% for the first marking period. Way to go, Samantha! Those are stellar grades, and she deserves them because of the hard work she puts into school every day, how she participates and focuses in class, and how she diligently does her homework and studies for tests.
Here is Aedan's report card for marking period 1. He got a P in Art with the comment that he is courteous and cooperative, a P in Music with the comment that he has a positive attitude, a P in P.E. with the comments that he participates in class and shows high interest level, a P in Handwriting, a P in Science, and a P in Social Studies. He earned a 100% in Language Arts with a reminder to read nightly, a 95% in Math with a reminder to practice math facts, and a 98% in Spelling, which gives him an average of 97.67%. Way to go Aedan! We are so proud of the excellent work he is doing in 1st grade!
The influence of visits with her parents is starting to be obvious. When our little peanut was more of an infant, she was more able to take little cat naps here or there and sleep through most anything. However, now that she is almost 5 months old, that is no longer the case. It happens often where she will come back from a visit having hardly napped at all and having not eaten as much as she would have if she were with us. She comes back congested because of her exposure to secondhand smoke, and we can see in her eyes that she is tired. That's what the following picture is. I was feeding her her baby cereal, and she looked at me with her tired eyes, with big circles underneath, and her usual smile on her face was no longer there. My heart just broke for her. I felt so bad that she was being pulled back and forth into these different homes with different people caring for her. I know that we are not a perfect family or perfect parents, but we have gotten our little peanut into a known and good routine. She knows what to expect. She eats what she needs to be satisfied. She gets the appropriate amount of sleep. She gets positive attention from us and our kids. It's times like these, and as we get closer to reunification and as visits become longer and more frequent, that it is difficult for me to be on the side of the parent. Is it really better for her to return home? For all she knows: we are her parents, we are her family. We have taken care of her since she came home from the hospital. She recognizes our voices, our smells, and our touch. She is comforted by us being around. It is times like these where it's hard not to be selfish and want to keep this adorable little peanut for ourselves, and just have her join our family forever. Foster care is a hard journey. We are rooting for her parents to turn their life around and get their children back, but in the meantime, our hearts are slowly being broken, one day at a time. It's hard when she is fussy and not sleeping well, but I definitely love this little girl.
Thursday was a day that Ben and I had been looking forward to for a long time. We had plans to take the kids out of school early on Thursday afternoon and head to Great Wolf Lodge for the night. We made arrangements for my friend, Amy, to watch our little peanut for us while we were gone, so it was all working out well.
Amy picked our little peanut up from her visit, and then she told us she slept until 6:30, which unfortunately is not uncommon. Plus, she's been really stuffed up and congested lately, since the day she got her shots. Then, after having a visit her congestion is always worse. Amy said she slept pretty well once she got settled for the night, woke up around 2:30 but went back to sleep without needing anything, then woke up at 4:30 all bright eyed and bushy tailed, but eventually she went back to sleep. Our little peanut was really stuffy and having a hard time drinking her bottle because she just couldn't breathe through her nose. She's been in a hard phase lately with not eating or sleeping well. It's been exhausting, so we were glad to be able to get away for the night with just our family, and we were looking forward to having an uninterrupted night of sleep as well.
Ben worked from home that morning, so we could get everything packed up. We hadn't told the kids that we were going anywhere and planned on surprising them just like we did the previous year. Owen, Ben, and I ate lunch and the went over to school to sign Samantha and Aedan out early and head to Great Wolf Lodge. Once again, the kids were confused as to why they were supposed to pack up and head to the office in the middle of the day, but I think they guessed it was going to be something good. They asked where our little peanut was and what we were doing, and we told them as soon as we got in the car that we were off to Great Wolf Lodge!
The only time we go to Great Wolf Lodge is when we can find a good deal on a room. This time we got the price of a room, as well as admission to the waterpark for less money than we normally would spend on a hotel room when travel. It was a good deal that we couldn't pass up. Here are the kids posing for a picture together as Ben got us all checked in. We arrived just before 2:30, and we couldn't wait to get to our fireplace loft suite room, get changed into our bathing suits, and head to the pool.
The kids love it at Great Wolf Lodge, and there is a something for everyone there. We had to wear masks around the hotel and as we walked into the pool, but once we were ready to swim, we were allowed to take them off. With the diminished capacity, people were fairly spread out, and we felt safe while we were there. I forget exactly what we did that first night because it's kind of hard to take pictures while you are swimming, but the kids had a blast, and we stayed in the waterpark until almost 8:00 when it closed for the night. We went on water slides together, played in the wave pool together, went on the lazy river, played in kiddie pool area where Owen could play around without his floatie on, and only took a short break to eat some food from the quick service place inside the waterpark. I even got Samantha to try the big slide, the Double Barrel Drop, with me again, and she decided she really liked it this time. I also got Aedan to go on a couple slides with me because at first he was resistant to go on any, but once he went on a couple with me, and realized he wasn't going to tip out or fall out of the tube, he decided they were fun. The kids didn't want to stop, but that's the good thing about Great Wolf Lodge-we can come back the next day and play in the waterpark all day long.
After getting back to our hotel room and getting everyone dried off and in pajamas, we watched the Great Wolf Lodge story time on TV, rather than going to the lobby and being around a lot of people. Here are the kids tucked into bed watching story time together.
After getting them settled for the night, Ben and I went upstairs to the loft bedroom area and relaxed for a little while before going to sleep ourselves. Oh my, was it glorious sleeping through the night for the first time in many months! It was just what I needed, and I felt so refreshed the next morning.
The kids did a good job sleeping that night, and they didn't wake up too incredibly early, which was good because the waterpark doesn't open until 10:00. Here are the kids' stuffed animals that they slept with that night, posing for a picture in the wolf ears. They were running around the hotel room, pretending that they were wolves.
We got to the waterpark right at 10:00 when it was opening for the day, and the favorite place of Samantha and Aedan is the wave pool. I'm convinced that they could spend all day in this wave pool. In fact, I told Ben that we need to try and take the kids on a trip to the ocean this summer so they can experience ocean waves. They would love that! In the first video you can see Aedan jumping face first into the waves. In the second video, he is putting himself underwater while the waves wash over him. He just loves it!
I tried to get some videos of the kids doing the things they enjoyed. So here is Owen going down slides in the kiddie pool area. These are too easy for him though. His favorite slide is the toilet bowl slide! He is so brave and has no fear in the water, just like his sister at this age. Owen loves being in the water! He could play in it all day.
While I was with Owen in the kiddie pool, Samantha was enjoying going on slides by herself and sometimes with Aedan, when he was in the mood. She was enjoying having some independence, and she knew to check back in with us after every two slides that she went down.
Here's a video of both Samantha and Aedan in the wave pool. They enjoy being in it together, and they like going on the side like this because that's where the waves are the biggest. She is diving through the waves just like a dolphin after she puts her goggles on. I love watching them having fun and being active in the water.
Other than brief breaks for snacks and eating pizza for lunch in the waterpark, we were in the water all day, going down slides, playing in the lazy river, and enjoying every last minute of our time at the waterpark. Once it got to be almost 4:00, we decided we should call it a day, even though it was so fun that no one wanted to get out of the water and leave. We have such a fun time at Great Wolf Lodge, and it's so nice that it's only 45 minutes away from us now. We will definitely keep our eyes on deals in the future because it's a great little getaway from the reality and responsibilities of life.
After that, it was back home to pick up our little peanut for Amy's house, hear how she did, get back home, get everything unpacked, and get everyone bathed and in bed. Everyone was tired from being in the water all day. In fact, Aedan and Owen both fell asleep in the car on the way to Amy's house.
Here is our happy little girl taking a bath that night. It was great to see her smile again.
We were glad that Aedan's head was doing well, too, and that it happened in enough time for him to get past the two day window of time that he wasn't supposed to get his head wet so we could still go to Great Wolf Lodge as planned. Here is how it's healing up, and he has an appointment to get the staples out on Tuesday.
Saturday was a low key day at home, just what we needed after Great Wolf Lodge. Here are the kids playing together with Owen's Mickey Mouse Clubhouse that morning. I love watching the three of them play together.
Even though it's not even Thanksgiving yet, I took advantage of the nicer weather and Ben being home on Saturday to put up Christmas lights on the house. After doing it last year, too, this year was easier because I knew how I was going to make it work. Ben helped me move the extension ladder so I could reach the tall eaves along the front, and I was done before dinner that night. When Ben was outside that night, he took these pictures, posted them on Facebook, and said, "Jenny always does such a nice job of decorating things for Christmas. While I would never do this if it were up to me, I am glad she is my wife...for this and many other reasons. I think with how horrible 2020 has been, it is only fitting to decorate whenever you want to." I love decorating the house with Christmas lights, and I love the way it looks all lit up. It makes the days getting shorter and colder that much more bearable.
(Blog about November 15-21, 2020)
