Aedan: 71 Months, Week 2
Owen: 28 Months, Week 4
With being at our friends' house a little too late on Saturday night and the kids getting to bed late, everyone was acting pretty tired on Sunday. We went to church together and then ate out at a Mexican restaurant for lunch. It was fun to go out together even though Aedan ordered chicken fingers and wanted ranch dressing for them which they did not have, and that meant he didn't want to eat them.
Once we got back home it was time for Owen to go down for his nap while Samantha and Aedan played quietly. Ben left mid-afternoon to go pick up our two new little ones from their parents' house. They asked for a longer visit because the mom started a job where she would be working on Sunday, and they wanted to give her a chance to say good-bye to the kids. Ben also found out that the dad lost his job because his heart condition was preventing him from showing up to work. When he picked them up from their house, he said that the house and kids were pretty messy. The little boy hadn't napped, and the little girl didn't do well sleeping the previous night. We were a bit discouraged that the visit didn't go as well as usual, especially with the chance that they could go back home in two days.
In thinking toward the court hearing set for Tuesday, I was definitely feeling anxious about what the decision was going to be. Most people said they thought they would go home, but there were a couple of people that didn't like that idea, so it was making me feel a little nervous. Their parents are doing all the things they were required to do in order to get their kids back, but they still had a lot of room to grow in their maturity and learning how to better parent. One man working with the kids said that he was afraid all the good work and improvements we have made will just be erased with them returning home. We had been looking toward the kids possible going home on or around this court date for awhile, and with how much work the little girl can be at times, part of me was looking forward to the kids being reunited with their family and going back home.
With the snow that we still had on the ground, the kids wanted a chance to go outside and go sledding down our hill on the side of our yard. I was inside working on dinner and took a sneak peak out the windows of the side of the house to watch them sledding. We have a great yard for it!
Jenn
On Monday morning my friend Kaili, from Bible Study, and her girls were going to come over for a play date, but their car wouldn't start. It was probably better anyways because Owen was pretty tired and cranky. We usually do grocery shopping on Mondays, so we weren't able to do that, but it was okay. I was able to just relax with Owen at home and get things prepared for the court hearing the next day. We were preparing as if they were going home, so we gathered together all the toys they had brought over to our house, as well as any clothes that belonged to them. We gathered all their medicine, papers from the doctors, as well as directions that I wrote out regarding the schedule that we have been keeping with them and names and phone numbers of all the people I have called and made appointments with.
That night was bath night, so after we got everyone clean and in pajamas, the two little boys had a good time pushing their trucks back and forth down the hallway. Looking back on these, it was amazing to see how much our new little boy watched Owen and copied how he acted and how he played.
You have the turn the volume way up on this video in order to hear anything, but I was attempting to capture how Owen sits and talks to me at night when I put him to sleep at night. We always follow the same bedtime routine of reading two books, then I turn the light off and sing two songs to him, usually "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" and "Jesus Loves Me." Then, we just cuddle and rock in the glider for awhile. He seems to be a verbal processor like me, so I usually spend a few minutes letting him talk about whatever it is that comes to his mind. It seems like he calms down a lot quicker and goes to sleep faster if I give him this time to talk before laying him in bed and leaving his room. Before I started this video he was talking about a lot more, but I was just trying to capture these sweet moments with my little Owen so I don't forget what they were like. Putting him to bed is and always has been one of my favorite parts of the day.
Here is some work the kids brought home from school that day. Aedan is working on modeling and counting 18 and 19, beginning blends, putting sentence parts in order, and matching numbers with their words.
Since we were fairly sure the courts would make the decision for our two new little ones to be returned home after the court hearing on Tuesday at 11:30, we took some time to take pictures of everyone on Monday evening so we could remember them and always have these pictures to look back on. We got some pretty cute pictures of everyone together, and our kids were going to miss having these two as a part of our family.
Since we didn't know exactly what to expect, we told the kids to be sure to give our two new little ones hugs before going off to school that morning. Here are Samantha and Aedan giving the little girl a hug before she went down to the van that morning. We hadn't told the little girl that she was going home since we didn't know for sure and she wouldn't really understand anyways, but we told our kids to hug her and say good-bye, as if they wouldn't see her again.
After getting the boys ready and all the stuff I needed if the kids went back home, I took the little boys to the play gym for our weekly tradition of singing songs, playing with the parachute, and then having fun free play in the gym with slides, balls, and the ball pit. The first video is Owen hitting the sticks to the stick song. We do this song every week, and he has gotten really good at it. I love how he is following along with the directions and trying to do what they say.
I took a lot of pictures of our new little boy since this would most likely be our last time out together like this. I just love being able to see the beaming smile on his face. It's been a joy to see his personality blossom and develop.
The day was pretty hectic with all the running around that we were doing. I dropped Owen off at Grace's house after leaving the play gym a little early, so that I could make it to court on time. I figured it would be easier not having Owen to wrangle as well. Ben picked up the little girl from school, picked up some Happy Meals for them, and met us at the court house. We figured with it being right at lunch time, it would be good to bring the kids some food to eat, and something to help distract them. I have to admit that I felt a little nervous about the court hearing. I wasn't able to go to the first one because I couldn't get down in time for it, so I didn't know what to expect. It really was short and sweet. The caseworker basically presented the details of the case and the recommendation for the children to return home with dependent services. Everyone in the court room agreed, and that was that. Their dad was kind of taken aback, and it didn't quite register what was really going on and that their kids were coming home with them right then.
Ben and I went down to our vehicles and met the family on the side street to transfer all their stuff over to their car to take back home. We had several garbage bags of clothes and toys, as well as the bag of medicine and directions that I wrote out, and our personalized letter to them. We handed everything over. The kids were buckled up in the car already so we leaned in and gave them hugs and told them we loved them, and then they pulled away. It was a happy day, but a sad day at the same time. We were really glad that they were able to be reunified with their parents, after all that is our goal in doing foster care, providing a safe and loving home to the kids while the parents have time to work on things until they are ready to get their children back. However, we had spent the last two and a half months caring for these two kids, and we really had gotten into a pretty good rhythm and routine. We had made some good progress with them, helped them get services and appointments that they needed, and built a level of love and trust that allowed them to begin to grow and develop, albeit slowly. We were definitely going to miss having them as a part of our lives.
After picking Owen up from Grace's house, we headed back home to get him down for a nap, and so that I could eat lunch and get ready for my interview at Lake Lehman to be a substitute teacher. As I was driving, I didn't expect the feelings of sadness that I felt with the kids returning home. I figured I might feel more relieved that we were back down to just our three, but I guess I was more attached to them than I even realized. Even though it was hard, challenging, and frustrating at times, I grew to really care for them, and I found myself hoping that their parents would step up their game and take care of them properly. Even as I write this blog post a month later, I still think about these two new little ones of ours every day, wondering how they are doing-if the little girl is doing well in school, if she still is wearing her glasses, if she's sleeping better at night, and if the little boy is gaining weight, running around and playing more like a normal two-year-old, and getting the early intervention services that he needs. I imagine I will continue to think about them and pray for them every day for quite a long time.
Here is some work the kids brought home on Tuesday from school. Aedan was working on counting and writing 18 and 19, coloring the side that has more, working on beginning blends, and writing words for numbers.
Samantha brought home a mid-chapter quiz that she got 100% on, as well as a Spelling pre-test.
My interview with Lake Lehman went pretty well. I didn't really know what to expect, but it was mostly just going over what they expect of subs, how the online system works, and what other things I needed to submit in order to be approved to be a sub. I was excited to get this step done, but I was kind of surprised at how much they have you do just to be a substitute teacher in Pennsylvania.
With our busy, hectic, emotional day, we didn't feel like cooking dinner that night, so we decided to go out to Grotto Pizza to eat instead. It was nice to just sit and relax and let someone else do all the cooking and cleaning up.
Our first night and morning without our two new little ones was definitely more relaxing. We kept joking around about how much easier it is with three kids than five kids. I was hoping this time of not having a placement would allow me to rest and regroup a little more, making our kids more of a priority and having extra time to play with them and even take them on one-on-one dates. I really wanted to make playing with the kids more of a priority, especially on the weekends when they are home from school. Last Saturday the big kids played games with me, and that was a lot of fun, but we haven't done that in a long time. Sometimes I don't know if they want to play with me or not because they often seem to just prefer to play with each other. Maybe I just need to take more of initiative in asking if they want to play with me or suggesting something or just making myself more available to play instead of always being busy with something that I need to get done.
On Wednesday morning I took Owen to the preschool story time at the library. Even though he's not three, which is technically the starting age for this story time, the librarian let him in anyways. At first he didn't want to go because he remembered how boring the toddler story time was where they basically just did nursery rhymes and it didn't hold his attention well enough. However, I told him that he would like this more, and he definitely did. Ms. Israel is the story time leader, and she did a great job picking out books that all went together in a theme. Owen loves listening to people read to him, so he sat on the floor absolutely transfixed by her reading books. Here you can see him sitting on the carpet with his eyes glued. He looked like such a big boy sitting there in his little jeans. I was so glad this story time was more interactive and interesting for him. I will definitely have to keep taking him to story time on Wednesdays.
After story time Owen wanted to play with the trains, so I helped him build a little track with a hill, and he spent the rest of our time at the library driving the trains around and around. He was having so much fun that he didn't want to leave the library. It made me think we need to get our trains and tracks out at home for him to play with!
Owen and I were going to go to the library and then go grocery shopping at Weis, but he was really tired again that morning and was having so much fun playing at the library, so I was trying to decide what to do. It made it complicated not going shopping on Monday because then I had to figure out what other day I could go. I ended up going back home and doing a pick up order at Wegmans for Ben to pick up on his way home, but since I put the order in so late in the day, and it was a large order of all our groceries for the week, it wasn't going to be ready until 4:30, making Ben stay downtown a lot longer than he'd planned. That made me feel bad that I made him stay so late, but we really need to get some groceries.
While Owen and I were at the library, I got a voice message from our case worker about another placement. She said she wasn't sure about it and wanted to leave the decision on our lap. That was quick! Another call already! Our last placement just left the day before, and Ben and I wanted to take a little break after our last placement went back home. The only thing that was making us consider saying yes was that they were only looking for him to be in placement for three weeks until the court date where his dad would take over custody of him. His dad wasn't involved in his care before, and his mom was the offender. The boy was six years old and was removed because he was extremely malnourished. When he went into the hospital the first time, he was only twenty-six pounds. Then, he was sent to a rehab facility after that. We were told that he was basically the level of a two or three year old, still wore diapers, and hadn't been to any school. However, his dad was being very cooperative and was willing to transport him to all the appointments and therapies that he had. It just broke my heart to hear about all these details of this poor little boy. Ben and I had a lot to talk about that evening, as they didn't need someone until Friday.
I was very tired on Wednesday, probably because of the craziness of everything that went on on Tuesday. I had a bad headache, and I got frustrated with Owen at lunch. He just kept getting up and down from his chair, and made a big mess. I was trying to do the grocery pick-up order, so I wasn't paying as much attention to him, which is probably why. But I just wanted him to eat so I could get him down for a nap so I could rest a little in hopes my headache would go away.
Here is some work Aedan brought home from school that afternoon. He is working on more number words, beginning blends, and numbers to 20.
After taking some medicine and relaxing a bit that afternoon, I felt much better, and I was glad that it was Wednesday night which meant the kids were all going to be at AWANA, and Ben and I could get our date night again, something we weren't able to do when we had our last placement. Since it was almost Valentine's Day, we decided to call this date our celebration of Valentine's Day. We went to a local Italian restaurant called Villa Roma because it is close to our house, and we figured we'd try it. It it owned by an older woman who has owned it for a long time. It was a little overly eclectic as far as the decorations went, and the food was okay, but it probably isn't a place we would go back to because there are better Italian restaurants around us. Nevertheless, we had a great time going to dinner and just talking about life as well as what decision we wanted to make regarding the placement we received the call about. After much discussion, we were both on the same page, and we decided we were going to say no, with the stipulation that if they couldn't find any family close by that would be willing to take him, we would want to take him rather than him going to another county or a group home situation. We just didn't think he would be the right fit with the health conditions that he had, as well as his physical limitations in regards to his mobility in our house with all our stairs. We both felt peace about our decision to say no, which was a big deal to feel comfortable with that, especially for Ben. We know that another call will come at some point, and we felt good about honoring our decision to take a little break from taking another placement right away.
Friday, February 14th was Valentine's Day, but we didn't really have any grand plans. It was just a normal day. Aedan was pretty tired and wasn't acting like he was feeling great on Thursday night, so he slept in until 8:00 that morning. I was grateful that he actually let himself sleep in and get extra rest. He had a 99.3 temperature, so I gave him some medicine and cough drops to bring to school. For some reason Samantha gave me a hard time eating breakfast that morning. She didn't want the toast and said the sausage was too spicy. Sometimes I think we should just give them cereal every day for breakfast since they complain about the food we make for them sometimes. Silly kids!
Owen has been pretty obsessed with eating peanut butter and jelly lately, and he asks for it almost every day for lunch. Now, we don't always eat it every day, but here he is on Friday with his peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a great big smile on his face. I love spending my days with this little boy.
Samantha and Aedan had an early dismissal on Friday, so I decided to have Aedan nap for awhile, just to help him kick whatever it is going on with him. He wasn't too resistant to the idea, so that was good. After getting both boys down for their naps, the dryer guy came back again to fix the dryer vent pipe that came out of the back of the dryer because it tore a little at the top after he came to work on it last time. I noticed when we were running that dryer that I could smell the dryer exhaust, so I climbed on top of the washer to take a picture of what it looked like behind the dryer, and that's when I noticed the tear. He came back very quickly to fix it, and was in and out in no time, which I was grateful for.
It was definitely a different weekend with just having our three kids again. It was much more relaxing in a lot of ways just because we had less kids to take care of, and we didn't always have to be wondering where our two new little ones were. I was able to get some things done around the house that I had been needing to do for awhile. I had clothes that no longer fit Samantha and Aedan piled in the closet in Aedan's old room, so I got all those down, sorted them, and put them away in the proper bins in the attic. I also went through the crates of shoes in the garage, switching Owen's out for the next size up, and taking out all the ones that no longer fit Samantha and Aedan. I also worked on putting away some "new" clothes that we got from Ben's colleague for Aedan in the next size. I felt very productive, and it was nice having this extra time to get these projects done and to know the kids were happy just playing and enjoying their weekend off of school.
Really for most of the fall, Aedan didn't really play with his Legos very much, but ever since Christmas when I got the Lego tables for them, he has been building with Legos a lot more. Here he is posing with his Lego creations that he worked hard on that Saturday morning while Samantha was at play practice. He was so proud to show me all his creations!
(Blog about February 9-15, 2020)
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