The Hard Adjustment to a Family of Seven

Samantha: 102 Months, Week 3
Aedan: 69 Months, Week 1
Owen: 26 Months, Week 3

After a rough end of Saturday night with our little boy getting sick in the car on the way back from the lights, it seemed to just be a one time thing. He slept fine the rest of the night and didn't get sick again, which we were glad for. Our guess was that he just ate too much food or something.

Sunday we got everyone ready and dressed for church. Our first time leaving the house as a family of seven was quite the process, but we actually got there early, and we were interested to see how it was going to be with our two new kiddos at church. Dropping the little boy off at his room was pretty easy and smooth because nothing much phases him. The little girl was excited to go in the classroom with Aedan, and we were interested to see how the morning would go since we had never taken our new kids somewhere like this. It felt good for Ben and I to sit in church together, and it was a welcome break to worship God and have time hearing from the Bible. We didn't have to go out to be with any kids, and we were glad that it was a successful morning.

When we got back home, I had to take a few pictures of Owen dressed up in his fancy little suit. He was such a cutie, and he loved that he was wearing a tie. :)

Our new little boy likes to be held a lot, so quite often we end up holding both little boys at the same time. Believe it or not, there is only one month difference between the two of them, but you wouldn't know it based on their size and development. They both find it funny when they are being held at the same time like this.

The rest of Sunday was a pretty relaxing day, but we got some pretty bad weather starting that afternoon and throughout the night. It started with freezing rain that changed over to snow. We only got 3-4 inches of snow, but they ended up cancelling classes at Wilkes late on Sunday night, which Ben thought was pretty silly because everyone that was out of town for Thanksgiving would have already made their way back to campus anyways. The kids already had the day off of school for Thanksgiving break, so we had another day at home with Daddy, which was kind of nice to have a long weekend to adjust to being a family of seven.

Here are some pictures of Izzy out in the snow that morning. As you can see, we really did not get that much snow, so it made us laugh that they were cancelling school. Izzy was excited to see the snow, and to go out and roll around and play in it. You can tell she likes snow; she is a Yooper dog after all.

It was definitely pretty with everything covered in snow.

Since we were all stuck at home that morning, and we were kind of tired of being cooped up in the house, we decided to get all the kids in the car and go out somewhere. Our initial idea was the library, but it was closed, so we decided to drive down to Barnes and Noble instead. The roads were really not that bad at all, and it was good to let the kids get out, play with trains, and read books for a little while. It was a little crazy having five kids to keep our eyes on, especially with two new ones that we didn't know much about and can't trust to stay with us as much as we can with our own kids. However, it went pretty well until it was time to leave. The little girl decided to run away from me to the other side of the store, going back and forth between the aisles of books. I did not want to chase her and turn it into a game, but I wasn't getting any closer to her, and I was starting to get worried that she would hide somewhere or maybe even go towards the exit of the store. Luckily, Samantha came over and helped me corner her from another direction, and after that I held her hand until we were out of the store and into the car. We knew that she was a runner at home, but we hadn't experienced it ourselves until that time. We decided we are going to have to handle transitions differently so that she doesn't have the chance to run away. Also, we figured the longer she is with us, the more she will get used to us and our expectations.

Toward the end of nap time that afternoon, we let the big kids get dressed in their snow stuff to go play outside. They got their sleds out and started making tracks down the hill to go sledding, they had snowball fights, and just had a blast playing outside, basically until it was too dark to stay outside. The little girl enjoyed playing on our play set, going down the slide and swinging. After Owen woke up, he wanted to come outside as well, so he and I were able to go sledding down the hill together a few times. He was really enjoying playing in the snow as well. I think our kids would enjoy having a little more snow, more often, so they could have more time to play outside in it. (I have some other cute videos, but they have our new children in them, so I can't post them publicly.)

Here are the three silly big kids enjoying eating some fresh snow!

Here are a couple pictures I took of the front of our house all lit up with the snow covering the ground as well. I just love it. I love so many things about our house. I feel so blessed that we were able to find this house that is perfect for our family, perfect for company, and perfect for having kids from hard places join our family for a period of time.

Dinnertime is a little more interesting around here simply because we now have seven mouths to feed, so what we have started doing is more of an assembly line process. We make sure everything is ready, line up the plates, and dish everything out for everyone before even calling anyone into the kitchen. It just seems to go more smoothly that way. The little boy doesn't seem to like any fruits or vegetables, but he loves things that come in soup form. We had chili for dinner that night, and he devoured his chili soup. At least he got some vegetables in him that way! The little girl doesn't like vegetables at all, and it was a struggle for us to even get her to try one at first. Then, when she did eat it, she wouldn't chew it, she would just swallow it whole, all the while having a disgusted look on her face. It's interesting what different kids are used to eating, but we count it a victory that we can get them to sit down at the table and eat, and they are fairly willing to try out new things.

With school finally starting on Tuesday after Thanksgiving break, our biggest goal for the week was trying to figure out transportation for the little girl. Ben had his impeachment lecture that morning, so he wasn't able to help with any school drop offs. I took Samantha and Aedan down to the van, and then drove the little girl down to her school, which is half an hour away from our house. I parked, got the double stroller out, buckled up both little boys, and had her help me push the stroller up to the front of her school so that way I didn't have to worry about her running away from me in the parking lot. It was an old school building with stairs up to the front, so I had to lift the stroller up the stairs and then figure out what I needed to do to get her signed in to school. Luckily, her teacher met me in the hallway and we talked for a few minutes about the situation and how the two kids are now living with us up in Harvey's Lake, so it may take awhile to figure out a good method of transportation, meaning she will be late for school since I have to get my kids off on the van first. I learned that the little girl gets special education services for most of the day, and I was able to learn a little more about how she was developmentally. Her teacher described her abilities as being more closely aligned with a three year old than a six year old, which we were beginning to pick up on through our interactions with her over the few days we had with her.

After dropping the little girl off at school, my next job was to pick up our week's groceries at Walmart, and then go in to pick up the rest of our produce. I held one boy on each hip walking into the store, and they only had regular shopping carts, so I put the little boy in the seat in the cart and had Owen walk with me. However, he wasn't doing a great job of staying near me, and I didn't like leaving the little boy in the cart to get Owen, so I ended up putting Owen inside the basket of the cart. Luckily, I didn't have to buy too many things so it worked out okay, but grocery shopping with two 2 year olds is a little different. I will definitely continue doing Walmart order pick-up because it's so much easier, but I would like to switch back to going to Tunkhannock because it seems a little less crowded and busy there.

After getting our groceries and getting back home, I discovered that I couldn't get the van back up the driveway which was extremely frustrating because I had a car full of groceries that I had to bring in. Apparently our driveway will be interesting this winter with how steep it is, unless it's just that our tires need to be rotated when we get our oil changed next. I ended up only making it up halfway. I took the boys into the house one at a time, and then took many trips back and forth trying to get all the groceries in the house and then brought upstairs. It was a bit of a chaotic morning with getting all the kids off to school and then having to put all the groceries away, feed the boys lunch, and try to get them down for naps at a decent time.

That night, with it being a Tuesday, was a MOPS night. I kind of assumed that my time going to MOPS in the evening would come to and end with having two extra kids to put to bed at night, but Ben, being the wonderful, caring husband that he is, agreed to let me try going to MOPS. He basically said we would never know until we tried, and if for some reason it was terrible, then I just wouldn't go next time. I was so thankful for the night out with other moms. It was great to sit and talk, enjoy some good food, and make a craft. And even though it was busy getting all five kids to bed by himself, they all were successfully in bed without too much trouble. I was given permission to keep going to MOPS. :)

With it being the end of the semester, Ben still had his 8:00 class on Wednesday and Friday this week, and we still didn't have transportation worked out for the little girl. Wednesday morning was crazy and hard with having to get all five kids ready and out the door to school on my own. I did too much yelling and made Samantha upset because she was trying her best to help, and I just lost my cool because the kids were just all over the place and no one was listening. I just didn't know what to do to be more on top of things so we can get places on time in the morning. I felt like it's probably my fault. I was just doing things from the moment I woke up until we left. The little girl slept until 7:35 and the little boy slept until 8:10. It's just hard because even though the little girl is six, she really can't do anything on her own so I have to get her dressed and brush her teeth and hair, so it's almost like having another preschooler or something. Plus, I was trying to make Aedan's lunch so that just made everything even more crazy. The little boy didn't even have a chance to eat before we had to leave since he usually sleeps in quite a bit in the morning. I just felt bad that I got so upset at Samantha because it's not her fault. It's not like she's in charge of these kids, so I was probably just putting way too many expectations on her. (Then, we almost got stuck in the snow at the end of our driveway.) I felt so bad that I cried in the car as I was driving down to drop the little girl off at school.

Since we still hadn't heard anything about where the little girl will go to school, whether she will stay at her school or be transferred up by us, I drove her down to school, which makes things more busy. Plus, they had a two hour delay on Tuesday, which made everything even more chaotic in the morning. However, despite all that, the kids have been sleeping well in the same room together, which is good because we were told that the mom swore she couldn't get the little girl to sleep at home. Sleep is so important, for the kids, and for Ben and me, so we were glad to not feel like we needed to sleep lightly anymore so we could listen to any movement around the house from her.

After dropping off the little girl, my task for the day was to drive up near Scranton to pick up Lego tables from a lady that was selling them on Marketplace. I decided they would be a good present for Samantha and Aedan because they like to build Legos and cities and buildings, but have no place to keep them secure. This lady basically bought end tables and glued Lego building plates to them. They looked great and were much cheaper than what I would be able to buy new. The two boys did great in the car, even though we were basically driving around all morning long. I tried to put a movie on our portable DVD player, but for some reason it kept stopping unless I held it, so that was a bit frustrating, but other than that I accomplished my mission (with a stop at Starbucks to enjoy a Peppermint Mocha as a pick-me-up), and we got back home just before lunch time. It warmed up some that morning, so I was finally able to get the van up the driveway, which I was grateful for.

Here's some work the kids brought home from school that afternoon.

I love this turkey that Aedan made so much because he certainly does love his Ema.

Here are some silly pictures of the kids playing in the house that evening. Sadly, AWANA was cancelled that night due to too many sick leaders. I was hoping to have a date night with Ben while all the kids were at AWANA, but such is life. Things are definitely busy and loud and crazy, but most of that is just because of having five kids in the house. 

The kids enjoy playing together, most of the time, and the little girl really likes following Samantha and Aedan around and being a part of whatever they are doing. She likes to run around and play super heroes with Aedan and play dolls or Barbies with Samantha. The little boy is more like a fifteen month old developmentally, so he largely just wanders around the house, picks things up and carries them around, climbs on chairs, and opens and closes doors.

Overall, things were going well, considering the circumstances. As I was reflecting on the first call we got for a foster placement, I am glad we didn't get called back because it would have been too much for me (us) to handle. It's nice that the little girl goes to school during the day, and the little boy is pretty quiet and easygoing, so it's easy to have him and Owen together during the day. Owen likes having him around, but he is not much of a playmate yet. Aedan enjoys playing silly and crazy games with the little girl, and Samantha has been really great with the kids, even though she sometimes finds the little girl a little annoying because she is pretty hyper and always wanting to be with people. We try to explain to Samantha that she is more like a three year old, and to think of that when thinking of what the little girl is capable of doing and understanding. However, it's sad to see how far behind they are. They don't really talk about their mom and dad much at all, and the little girl is already calling us Mommy and Daddy. In fact, that night at the dinner table she kept talking about how happy she was, and her teacher told Ben when he picked her up from school that they had already seen a difference in her at school. The little boy shows very little emotion and doesn't interact much with people, especially in comparison to Owen. Aedan got excited yesterday when he heard him say "uh-oh" for the first time. (He was repeating Aedan.) That was the first recognizable thing he has said so far since he's been with us. The little girl is copying our prayers and wants to pray before meal time as well, just like our kids do. I felt like they were a good fit for us. It hard and challenging, but we feel God has called us to this, and I am just reminding myself that he will equip me and give me the strength I need for each day.

Thursday was going to be another somewhat busy day. I had Bible study that morning and took both Owen and the little boy with me. Then, around lunch time there was supposed to be a meeting to decide what would be best for the little girl for school, either to stay at her school that is half an hour away from our house, or be transferred up to the same school as Samantha and Aedan. As I was thinking about it, I was leaning more towards having her stay down at her school and get transportation (which the school has to provide according to the law). She is receiving special services all day, so it would take a lot of work to get her retested again and get services reestablished, she really likes her teachers, and it would be better for her to keep her schooling consistent. Plus, I thought it might be good for our kids to have a separation from her during the day, to have school be their own special thing. Ben planned on being a part of the conference call so we could express our desires for her as well. It was decided that it would be in her best interest for her to stay at her school, so then came the process of arranging transportation for her from our house to her school and back.

That afternoon Ben came home early so I could go help out at the Santa Store at the kids' school. Then, I drove down to pick up the little girl from a visit with her mom. I got some information from her mom concerning doctors and medicine and school, and we thought that maybe she would have a hard time leaving her, since this was the first time she had seen her since being removed, but she really didn't. She whimpered a little and said she would miss her, but then she got over it quickly as we drove back to our house. It's so interesting to see how different kids react because the placement we had in Michigan had such a hard time after visits with his mom.

After a few busy mornings, Friday morning was a good morning to just stay home, get things done around the house, and just let the boys play. We hung out in Owen's room for awhile looking at books and the boys played with this stacking toy together for awhile. It was cute to see the two of them together.

Friday night was a pretty relaxing night at home, and after dinner I suggested we put the Christmas train together to go around the top of the ping pong table. This was a gift from my Grandma a number of years ago, and the kids are always excited when we get it out at Christmastime. However, it takes awhile to get the train cars set up just so on the tracks, but the kids loved seeing it go around and around.

On Saturday morning Samantha had her play practice down in Wilkes-Barre, so the other four kids just had free time to play at home. I think Aedan was glad to have a playmate because he usually just sulks around the house on Saturday mornings when Samantha is gone.

I love these next to pictures of Owen with his adorable little dimples! This boy is just the cutest. I hope he always keeps these dimples of his.

On Saturday night we decided to do something else a little crazy. There was a community Christmas tree lighting event in Dallas that I thought it would be fun to check out. They had free hot dogs, hot chocolate, and cookies to eat. There were some animals to look at, and then they had a countdown to lighting the Christmas tree. It was pretty cold out that night, and even though we bundled everyone up, Owen started getting really cranky as we stood waiting for the tree to be lit. He was just really cold, I think, and he was starting to not feel well. They had a fire truck giving rides, but we decided it would be best to just head home and get everyone warmed up. However, besides Owen crying and wanting to get out of the cold, the evening went very well. The little girl didn't try to run away from us at all. She listened well, everyone ate their hot dogs well, and it was an enjoyable evening out together.

When we got home, I tucked Owen under a blanket with me to read some books, and Samantha and Aedan joined me as I read aloud to them. Then, it was time to tuck everyone into bed. It was a nice end to our day.

(Blog about December 1-7, 2019)