Aedan: 54 Months, Week 3
Owen: 13 Months, Week 2 (Week 58)
I have recently gone through the fall/winter clothes for Owen, as well as the next size up, and got them hung up in his closet. So on Sunday, since it was a little colder outside, I decided to dress him in this button-up shirt with a vest over it. Doesn't he just look like such a little man? This little guy is just too adorable. I love his wispy light hair and his adorable dimples.
Saturday night was another rough night with Owen. Ben was sleeping upstairs in the guest room with Samantha for her sleepover, so he couldn't help me out again. I found myself wishing that I could be upstairs sleeping instead of being with Owen for two hours in the middle of the night. Owen was awake from 2:45-4:45, and I tried everything to get him back to sleep: nursed him, rocked him (and he fell asleep snoring), then he woke up and was trying to wiggle away from me, so I walked around the room with him for a long time (and he fell asleep snoring on my shoulder), then I tried to lay him down and he woke up as soon as I tried that. I tried patting him while he was on his tummy (and he fell asleep snoring), but as soon as I stopped touching him, he woke up crying. Then, I just sat down in the doorway of his room to see if he would calm down and fall asleep on his own. He kept getting quiet for a few minutes and then kicking around and then crying. I went to the bathroom, preparing to go back into his room, and when he started standing in his bed and screaming, I went in and laid him back down, telling him very sternly that it was bedtime and he needed to go to sleep. At that point, I was tired and frustrated, so I tried calling Ben's phone to see if he could come down and take a turn with Owen, but I tried four times and he didn't answer because his phone doesn't get calls during the night. Then, finally, Owen started calming down after crying for a good 20 minutes, and he ended up falling asleep without me. It was an exhausting couple of hours, and I was so glad when he finally fell asleep.
Being up with Owen for so long during the night for two nights in a row, made me extremely tired the next day, and I found it really hard to concentrate in church. We had small group at our house that evening, and I had things I wanted to get done around the house, so I didn't take a nap that afternoon, even though I probably should have. Even during nap time that day, Owen woke up twice crying, so apparently there was really something bothering him. His left bottom molar is finally starting to push it's way through, so I'm sure that has a lot to do with how he is feeling lately.
Luckily, Owen did better overnight on Sunday night. He woke up about 12:30, and Ben got him back to sleep in about 25 minutes, and then he woke up at 5:45, and I was able to nurse him and he fell asleep in my lap right after eating, then he slept until about 8:00.
I forget what we were doing in the basement on Monday morning, but I had the boys downstairs with me, and Aedan likes to turn the music on the piano so they can dance around. Owen LOVES to dance, and any time there is music on, he dances, and I finally captured it on video. The boys have some pretty good dance moves, don't they? I love watching these two boys together, and I'm so glad I get to spend my days with them.
And this next video showcases two skills that Owen is obsessed with lately: blowing bubbles with his mouth and climbing on everything, especially the step stools by sink. He loves to try and get the toothbrushes out of the toothbrush holder. This little boy is always getting into something!
It was a lovely day outside, perfect for spending some time playing, so when we got home from picking Samantha and Aedan up from school, we all headed outside to play. Samantha and Aedan got the rake out and made a pile of leaves to jump in. Owen also enjoyed trying to push the rake back and forth across the grass.
The boys had a lot of fun playing on the play set that day, and I got to experience firsthand how much Owen likes to go down the slide head first. He can climb up the steps all by himself, but just needs a spotter from behind just in case his foot slips, and then he will crawl right over to the slide, lay on his belly, and send himself down head first. I had to rush around to the end of the slide to catch him so he wouldn't land on his head when he went down. Samantha took the first video, and I took the second video. Owen has no fear, and I love the big smile on his face and how he goes right back to do it again. It's fun to think that in the spring and summer, once the snow thaws, he will be able to play outside with Samantha and Aedan much more easily without needing as much direct supervision from an adult.
I took Aedan to hockey practice that night, and we decided to just eat once we got back home, giving him a snack before we left for practice. I also decided to get him dressed once we got to the Big Bear, which worked okay, but it took a little longer than if we would have just done it at home, probably because at home both Ben and I help him get dressed, and it is quite the process getting all his hockey gear on. When Aedan first got out onto the ice, he wanted to use a metal frame, and I told him no, because he can skate without it. They did a little bit of warm-up with practicing turning around, laying down on the ground, and getting back up again, as well as skating to a blue line and back. Aedan was doing a fairly good job following directions, but it was a little tricky when they were all standing so close together and the kids kept tripping each other as they tried to move around. Later on in the lesson, they had various areas for the kids to go through, and Aedan was kind of wandering around aimlessly because I don't think he knew what he was supposed to do. However, I encouraged him to get his stick and try to hit the balls and pucks that were scattered around on the ice. He enjoyed doing that much more than just skating with no purpose. You can even see him get going pretty quickly in this following video. I think it helps him keep his balance when he holds his stick as well. It is fun watching him improve week by week, and I'm glad that he is trying his best and giving it a try.
Every once in awhile I get emotional about the kids growing up so fast and time going by so quickly. I don't know if it's because we are, as far as we're concerned, done having our own babies, but I feel sad that I don't get any of this time back with the kids being little, and sometimes I feel like I waste it so much just rushing through the day or being impatient or wishing they were out of a certain phase. With Samantha in school, time seems to go by even faster, and Aedan will be in kindergarten next year, and then I will only have Owen at home with me. There are many reasons that we feel done with the number of kids we have. First of all, I always thought I wanted four kids, and we have that, three on earth and one in heaven. By having more, I feel like I would be discounting that other life that Ben and I conceived. Sometimes I wouldn't mind having another one, simply because being pregnant and giving birth is such a magical thing, and I love snuggly newborns and watching kids grow and learn new things. However, with how tough Owen has been for most of his life in regards to sleeping, I just don't think I could handle all this baby stuff again. Plus, I would like to go back into teaching some day. I have stayed home since the 2013-2014 school year, and it will still be at least several more years until I can go back to work, once Owen gets into kindergarten. I know that God has called me to be a teacher, and I still have a passion to get back into the classroom some day, so I know my days as a stay-at-home mom will end at some point. However, I just wish I could freeze time sometimes. I still feel strange that my baby is now a 13 month old toddler who is walking, climbing, and eating food like the rest of us.
Monday was one of those days where I felt like I couldn't just sit and play with Aedan or Owen all day long because we had to do breakfast, cleaning up, then go to church to set up for MOPS, then snack time, stuffing diapers, picking stuff up around the house, getting lunch ready, unloading the dishwasher, cleaning up lunch, changing Owen's diaper, dropping Aedan off for preschool, putting Owen down for a nap, having a little bit of time while Owen napped, then picking the kids up from school, having dinner, taking Aedan to hockey, cleaning up, and bedtime. It's just doing one thing after another all day long, and I don't just sit and play with the boys very often at all. I'm really struggling to find that balance between trying to keep up with stuff around the house and being more present with the kids and entering their world through play. I just wish I wouldn't be so focused on the things that I have to get done, and just allow myself to be with the kids and let other things go.
As we were going to bed that night, Ben couldn't find his wedding ring anywhere. We spent probably a good half an hour looking for it, and we couldn't find it anywhere. I was getting a little worried about where it could be because we scoured every place we could think of. Then, right as we were going to bed, Owen woke up screaming like he had a bad dream or something. Ben got him back to sleep fairly easily, and then he didn't wake back up again until 5:30, which was nice to have that long of a stretch of sleep. Then, I was with him for 45 minutes before I got him back to sleep again, but then he slept in until about 8:15, so that was good. Even though Owen slept in, Aedan had woken up at 6:00 to go potty and didn't go back to sleep, so he was really tired and emotional that morning, and I knew that would make for a long day.
Tuesday morning the mystery of Ben's wedding ring was solved. Ben mentioned to the kids to be on the look out for his ring and asked if they had seen it anywhere. Samantha had a shocked look on her face, and said, "Oh yeah..." Apparently she had taken it the night before when Ben was making dinner and put it in her bedroom as a joke. However, she forgot to give it back to him later that night. Ben tried not to make too big of a deal out of it, but Samantha got a little talking to about it, especially taking and hiding something as important as his wedding ring.
Other than that, our Tuesday went like normal with going to MOPS that morning. Owen did just fine being dropped off in the toddler room, but Aedan gave me a hard time, trying to hide my legs, and then going and laying on the floor for awhile. I know a lot of that was because he was tired from being up so early. His teachers said he didn't lay on the floor for very long, so that was good. The topic of MOPS this week was miscarriage and infant loss. Telisa got up to share her story, and I knew I was going to have a hard time. I don't know why I even bothered to put mascara on that day. I did pretty well during her talk, but then afterwards as we talked with the other moms at our table, I found myself getting super emotional and crying about my own experience with miscarriage. I still feel deep sadness and pain regarding the whole experience, and I think sometimes I don't realize how much I suppress my feelings and even my memories of that baby. However, in talking with other women who have experienced the same thing, all those feelings come fresh to my mind. I remember the emptiness, the sadness, the loss of purpose for me and my future, the insensitive ways some friends and family members reacted after the fact, and the ache that none of it would have ever happened and that I could just have my baby back. In fact, that afternoon after taking Aedan to preschool and putting Owen down for his nap, I went back and reread my blog posts surrounding that time, reminding myself of the timeline of how everything happened, and I just sat on the couch reading my story with tears streaming down my face. But I was also reminded of the one time I really feel like God has spoken to me in my life, and that was right after the miscarriage, standing in our little kitchen in Bloomington, when God clearly put a picture in my head of the little picture of my baby that I saw on the ultrasound screen being held in the strong, kind, loving, all-knowing hands of my Heavenly Father. And for all the sorrow that I felt, that picture gave my heart that peace that it needed then and now, that my precious baby, who I never got the chance to meet, is already in heaven where there is no pain, sorrow, hurt, or sadness. My little baby was able to bypass all of that and go straight to being in the presence of God, and for that, I can't be anything but joyful.
The craft we made at MOPS that day was a bird's nest that you could design however you wanted. Most people put beads for the number of kids that they have, and I decided to put four on mine, since I have four children. The purple bead at the top is for Samantha, and then you go around clockwise. The smaller clear bead with gold flecks is for our angel baby. The blue rainbow speckled bead is for Aedan since he was a rainbow baby, and the last light blue one is for Owen. It was really kind of therapeutic making this necklace, and I think it turned out really well. It was a perfect craft to go along with what we talked about that day.
The rest of the day of the day was more blur of activity from leaving Owen with Calla (when he was being a little clingy, as he normally is when waking up from his nap) and picking up the big kids and taking them to gymnastics. I took a book with me this time to read while I waited, as a way to pass the time and do something that I enjoy that I don't do as much as I would like.
Monday was one of those days where I felt like I couldn't just sit and play with Aedan or Owen all day long because we had to do breakfast, cleaning up, then go to church to set up for MOPS, then snack time, stuffing diapers, picking stuff up around the house, getting lunch ready, unloading the dishwasher, cleaning up lunch, changing Owen's diaper, dropping Aedan off for preschool, putting Owen down for a nap, having a little bit of time while Owen napped, then picking the kids up from school, having dinner, taking Aedan to hockey, cleaning up, and bedtime. It's just doing one thing after another all day long, and I don't just sit and play with the boys very often at all. I'm really struggling to find that balance between trying to keep up with stuff around the house and being more present with the kids and entering their world through play. I just wish I wouldn't be so focused on the things that I have to get done, and just allow myself to be with the kids and let other things go.
As we were going to bed that night, Ben couldn't find his wedding ring anywhere. We spent probably a good half an hour looking for it, and we couldn't find it anywhere. I was getting a little worried about where it could be because we scoured every place we could think of. Then, right as we were going to bed, Owen woke up screaming like he had a bad dream or something. Ben got him back to sleep fairly easily, and then he didn't wake back up again until 5:30, which was nice to have that long of a stretch of sleep. Then, I was with him for 45 minutes before I got him back to sleep again, but then he slept in until about 8:15, so that was good. Even though Owen slept in, Aedan had woken up at 6:00 to go potty and didn't go back to sleep, so he was really tired and emotional that morning, and I knew that would make for a long day.
Tuesday morning the mystery of Ben's wedding ring was solved. Ben mentioned to the kids to be on the look out for his ring and asked if they had seen it anywhere. Samantha had a shocked look on her face, and said, "Oh yeah..." Apparently she had taken it the night before when Ben was making dinner and put it in her bedroom as a joke. However, she forgot to give it back to him later that night. Ben tried not to make too big of a deal out of it, but Samantha got a little talking to about it, especially taking and hiding something as important as his wedding ring.
Other than that, our Tuesday went like normal with going to MOPS that morning. Owen did just fine being dropped off in the toddler room, but Aedan gave me a hard time, trying to hide my legs, and then going and laying on the floor for awhile. I know a lot of that was because he was tired from being up so early. His teachers said he didn't lay on the floor for very long, so that was good. The topic of MOPS this week was miscarriage and infant loss. Telisa got up to share her story, and I knew I was going to have a hard time. I don't know why I even bothered to put mascara on that day. I did pretty well during her talk, but then afterwards as we talked with the other moms at our table, I found myself getting super emotional and crying about my own experience with miscarriage. I still feel deep sadness and pain regarding the whole experience, and I think sometimes I don't realize how much I suppress my feelings and even my memories of that baby. However, in talking with other women who have experienced the same thing, all those feelings come fresh to my mind. I remember the emptiness, the sadness, the loss of purpose for me and my future, the insensitive ways some friends and family members reacted after the fact, and the ache that none of it would have ever happened and that I could just have my baby back. In fact, that afternoon after taking Aedan to preschool and putting Owen down for his nap, I went back and reread my blog posts surrounding that time, reminding myself of the timeline of how everything happened, and I just sat on the couch reading my story with tears streaming down my face. But I was also reminded of the one time I really feel like God has spoken to me in my life, and that was right after the miscarriage, standing in our little kitchen in Bloomington, when God clearly put a picture in my head of the little picture of my baby that I saw on the ultrasound screen being held in the strong, kind, loving, all-knowing hands of my Heavenly Father. And for all the sorrow that I felt, that picture gave my heart that peace that it needed then and now, that my precious baby, who I never got the chance to meet, is already in heaven where there is no pain, sorrow, hurt, or sadness. My little baby was able to bypass all of that and go straight to being in the presence of God, and for that, I can't be anything but joyful.
The craft we made at MOPS that day was a bird's nest that you could design however you wanted. Most people put beads for the number of kids that they have, and I decided to put four on mine, since I have four children. The purple bead at the top is for Samantha, and then you go around clockwise. The smaller clear bead with gold flecks is for our angel baby. The blue rainbow speckled bead is for Aedan since he was a rainbow baby, and the last light blue one is for Owen. It was really kind of therapeutic making this necklace, and I think it turned out really well. It was a perfect craft to go along with what we talked about that day.
Wednesday morning the boys and I were off to the library for story time. We are enjoying the new librarian, and Aedan is always excited to listen to stories and make a craft. That day he picked a puzzle off the shelf that he wanted to do together. We went down to the bottom of the reading area so that way Owen was more contained and could practice going up and down the stairs while I was able to watch him. (He likes going on the stairs so much, that I am trying to teach him how to slide down safely on his tummy so we don't have to worry about him around stairs as much.) Aedan is really enjoying puzzles more lately, and we had fun finding all the numbers and pictures that went together for this Cat in the Hat puzzle. I think he enjoyed being able to work on it with me and have my attention while Owen was occupied climbing around. Here is Aedan posing with the completed puzzle.
As I was trying to make lunch that afternoon, Aedan was being a super helpful big brother and was pushing Owen around in the little car. Owen was loving it, and they were having a blast together, as you can tell by this video. However, after the fact, I realized that the car left little scratch marks all over the floor from the little ridge of plastic that pokes out of the middle of the tires. It wasn't Aedan's fault, and I should have stopped him, but I didn't realize it was leaving marks on the floor like that. Our wood floors are frustrating to me because they get dented and scratched so easily, and there's no way we can avoid that with three kids and a dog. I guess some day we will just redo the floors when our kids get older, and for now I will just try to relax and let it go. It's definitely different owning a home and trying to take care of things as best as you can, knowing that you can't just call up maintenance or know that you can't do anything to change the look of the place anyways.
After a pretty exhausting day for Ben on Wednesday, we were looking forward to Samantha and Aedan going to AWANA that night so that he and I could have some time to talk more without them around. It's become increasingly difficult to have conversations with Samantha around because she is always listening. We stopped at the pet store on the way home to get a new bed for Izzy, something we have wanted to do for awhile. We have thrown around the idea of letting her start sleeping in our room, always using the caveat of waiting until Owen starts sleeping through the night. Well, he is 13 months old and he still wakes up once a night, sometimes even twice, so who knows when he will actually start sleeping through the night. Sometimes I feel bad that Izzy is locked up in her kennel all night when she doesn't need to be. She is a great dog, and we can trust her to be out, she's not a little puppy anymore. I had a gift card from when I returned something to the store awhile back, so we used that to take some money off the purchase of a new bed for Izzy that we could keep in our room for her to sleep on at night. Owen and Izzy were both very interested in the cages of birds and animals at the pet store. We had to hold Owen back by the hood of his coat because he kept wanting to stick his fingers through the bars of the cage.
Thursday was going to be a busy day at our house. Ben had his typical classes in the morning and then was going to leave after lunch to drive down to Lansing with the political science club students, and he would be staying there overnight. I spent the morning going grocery shopping, getting all the groceries put away, and then getting Aedan to preschool and Owen down for a nap.
Then, after school that day Samantha's school had a pumpkin carving event, so I asked Linda and Ken if they would be able to come over to watch Owen so that I could do the carving with the big kids. It would be difficult to bring Owen along because I would have to chase him around or try to contain him in the stroller, which wouldn't work for very long. We got to the pumpkin caring early, which was kind of nice because it wasn't as loud and crazy. I helped cut the top off both of the kids' pumpkins, and I did a lot of the scooping of the insides for Aedan, but Samantha did pretty much all of it on her own and she was working very hard. Here they are cleaning out their pumpkins.
Then, after school that day Samantha's school had a pumpkin carving event, so I asked Linda and Ken if they would be able to come over to watch Owen so that I could do the carving with the big kids. It would be difficult to bring Owen along because I would have to chase him around or try to contain him in the stroller, which wouldn't work for very long. We got to the pumpkin caring early, which was kind of nice because it wasn't as loud and crazy. I helped cut the top off both of the kids' pumpkins, and I did a lot of the scooping of the insides for Aedan, but Samantha did pretty much all of it on her own and she was working very hard. Here they are cleaning out their pumpkins.
Aedan was pretty insistent on bringing his own pumpkin that he got from his farm field trip to carve, and he made a smiley face on his. (I wish I would have gotten a picture of his finished pumpkin as well.) These next two pictures were taken by the school and posted on their website. Samantha was proud of the intricate design she carved on her pumpkin, and she did almost all of the carving herself except for the smaller areas as they eyelashes. It was so fun being able to spend this time with Samantha and Aedan.
After carving our pumpkins, we went through Wendy's to get some food for dinner and then went on our way home. Owen did great for Linda and Ken. Linda said he didn't even look around for me, which is just fine with me. I'm glad that he feels safe and secure with them. They were able to feed him dinner, and they were impressed at how much he ate and how independent he is getting with feeding himself. Samantha and Aedan were pretty hungry, so they ate quickly and then it was time for baths and bed time. Things were a bit more hectic that evening trying to do everything myself since Ben was out of town. I did my best to do things as quickly as I could without getting too impatient, but the kids were really tired, and it was difficult to keep Owen happy while I helped Samantha and Aedan.
I found myself totally exhausted after getting all the kids to bed that Thursday night. Luckily, Owen did well for me and slept until 5:30, and I nursed him and he went back to sleep until about 7:45. I was glad that I didn't have to be up with him a lot during the night, especially since it's always weird sleeping without Ben. I don't know how other women do it when their husbands are always out of town. One night is enough for me. I enjoy having Ben around, and we make a good team in working together to get things accomplished and take care of the house.
Friday morning was a little stressful because I was trying to get breakfast made and Owen woke up right when I was trying to get things ready for the kids to eat. Then, while I was downstairs nursing Owen, Samantha and Aedan finished their breakfast and worked on getting their shoes and coats on so we could leave as soon as I came upstairs. Well, I came upstairs to discover that Aedan had dropped and spilled his entire milk cup all over the floor. They tried to be helpful and clean it up, but they used a wet paper towel and just smeared it all over the floor before realizing that wasn't working and that they just needed to use dry paper towels to soak up the milk first. It was quite the big mess on the floor and on the edge of rug, so it took me quite a while to clean it up when we got back home from dropping Samantha off at school.
Friday morning I spent the morning doing some cleaning and getting things ready for Ema and Papa to come visit. Samantha had a half day again that day, so she came home on the bus as Aedan and I were finishing lunch. Then, we got in the car and took Aedan to preschool and I put Owen down for a nap. Samantha spent some time coloring, reading, and snuggling with Izzy. I love how much the kids love Izzy. She is such a good family pet, and she is so good with the kids. We would have never let the kids get their faces this close to Roscoe because he was just so grumpy all the time.
Since Ema and Papa were going to be driving through Lansing on their way to Sault Ste. Marie, and Ben would be able to get home earlier if they picked him up, that's what they did, and they arrived at the house shortly after I left to go pick Aedan up from preschool. The kids were so excited when we pulled up to the house and they saw their car already parked in the driveway. They ran into the house with great excitement, gave big hugs, and then everyone got to playing.
We decided to do downtown trick or treating that night, so we got all the kids dressed up in their costumes and took Ema and Papa downtown with us. Samantha wore her gypsy costume, Aedan was resistant to wearing anything, so he just wore his Super Man cape and mask, and Owen wore his monkey costume and got to ride around in the stroller. We went up and down Ashmun Street, stopping at any businesses that were giving out candy, and the kids had a blast. It was misting a little bit while we walked around, and everyone's hands were cold by the time it was over, but they got lots of good candy, and it was fun being a part of this community event.
After finishing trick or treating, we went to Pizza Hut for dinner and so Samantha could use her Book-It coupon that she earned at school. I had plans to go to a mom's night out, so I left the restaurant around 7:00, and Ben, Ema, and Papa were in charge of putting all the kids to bed that evening. Later in that night, I texted Ben to see how things were going and Ben said Owen actually drank all of the milk. We put some breast milk that I had saved in the freezer in a sippy cup this time, and he drank it all up. We figured we would try it because Owen has gotten so good at drinking out of sippy cups. I was glad to hear that bedtime went well and that Owen was able to go to sleep for someone else. It was nice having a break from having to put him to bed. Unfortunately, Samantha gave Ben a hard time going to sleep because she watched a scary movie at school that day and couldn't go to sleep because she was afraid she was going to have bad dreams.
The mom's night out I went to was dinner at Applebee's and then games at a mentor mom's house, and it was a good time, even though it was difficult to stay focused and friendly once it got late and I started to get tired. I stayed until about 11:30, not getting to bed until after midnight, so I was definitely tired come Saturday morning. In fact, Ben even let me sleep in which was very nice of him.
The rest of Saturday was lots of good time spent with Ema and Papa. There were lots of books read, lots of games played together, and Ema even brought stuff to make a pumpkin dessert and spider cookies with the kids. Papa brought wood carvings for them to paint. Samantha had a butterfly, and Aedan had a Super Man sign. They were excited to paint them that afternoon once I got Owen down for a nap. Then, after Owen woke up, we all took a walk around campus to get some exercise, even stopping at the science building to look at the animals. It was a good day, and the kids loved having Ema and Papa in their world and giving them lots of one-on-one attention. They are such loving, attentive grandparents. We miss not being able to see them more often now that we live farther away.
Here are all three of my silly kiddos dancing and singing to "Remember Me" from the Coco soundtrack. I love how Owen wants to get into it with them as well.
As we were getting plates ready for dinner that night, Owen walked around the corner with this play drill in his mouth. He was holding down the button and letting the end spin around and around in his mouth. (Don't worry, there was no drill bit on the end.) He must have enjoyed the sensation of the vibration on his mouth because he thought it was funny and he wanted to keep doing it over and over again.
After eating dinner together, we had some pumpkin dessert with whipped cream on top. I didn't think Owen would really care to have the pumpkin dessert, so I decided to just put some whipped cream on a plate for him to try. He was pretty excited to dig his hands right in, and he thoroughly enjoyed licking the whipped cream off his hand and even off the plate. we all thought it was great fun watching him enjoy his dessert. :) I figured it was a bath night, so what was the harm?
After giving the kids baths and dressed in their pajamas, Owen was walking around the house hitting a ball with his broom. Maybe we have a future hockey player? It was a great, full, family day, and we were so glad Ema and Papa could spend that time with us and the kids.
(Blog about October 21-27, 2018)
No comments:
Post a Comment