Toll Baby #3 Arriving Around September 17, 2017

Samantha: 70 Months, Week 1
Aedan: 34 Months, Week 3

This week had a lot going on, starting with something I forgot to mention in my last post. Early Monday morning we heard that one of Miss Lisa's kids got sick overnight, and she wanted to let us know so that we could decide what we wanted to do with Aedan. We weren't sure, but we didn't want to send him and have him catch something and then get sick himself. I tried to find someone else from church or the MOPS group to watch him, but no one was available and since I had just taken Friday off to be with the foster baby, Ben volunteered to keep Aedan for the day. He cancelled a couple of his classes, but ended up taking him to two of them that needed to meet. Ben took this picture and posted it, saying, "I have never taught with one of my kids tagging along. Here goes nothing..." Ben also brought him to a meeting of his and said he was fine watching Super Why. You can see Ben was prepared with a show on the computer, Aedan's Leap Pad, headphones, a snack, and a drink. What more could a boy ask for? In fact, Ben said that he did so well that he decided to take him to McDonald's for lunch.

Then, on Tuesday, March 14th, it was a big day for me, and really for our entire family. It has been so hard for me not to write about this in my previous blog posts, but we wanted to wait until this appointment, to be sure we made it to the second trimester with a healthy, growing baby before we announced it to the general public. So, I am proud to announce that Ben and I are expecting Toll baby number three! We had been trying for almost two years, gone through fertility testing that all came back pretty much normal, and except for some medicine Ben had taken for two months before conceiving, we had pretty much given up hope that we were ever going to conceive again naturally. In fact, I could not not believe my eyes on the morning of January 12th when I took the first pregnancy test. I had a late period several times over all our months of trying, but never this late. I also had taken pregnancy tests before and experienced the sadness of seeing the negative sign. When I took this test, it was immediately positive, a very clear plus sign, and I could not believe my eyes. I immediately starting crying tears of joy, closed my eyes, and said out loud, "Thank you, Jesus." I had cried so many tears and said so many prayers about wanting to have another baby. I had no idea why it wasn't happening, but as with most things in life, it's not about my timing but about God's timing, and this is the time God wanted to bless Ben and me with a little baby. I immediately went into the bedroom where Ben was still asleep, sat on the edge of the bed, and told him, "It's positive!" We embraced each other and cried tears of immense happiness, talking about this unexpected blessing of a new life.

From there it almost felt surreal to continue on with my day. I had just started working at Bahweting, not knowing that I was already pregnant; however, that news did not impact my intention to work for the remainder of the school year as para in the kindergarten class. It just meant that I was for sure not going to continue working there the following school year.

I called my doctor that afternoon to set up my first appointment and Samantha overheard me say that I just found out I was pregnant. She was in the living room with Ben and I heard her say, "What?! Is Mommy really pregnant?" We weren't going to tell the kids right away because nine months is a long time to wait, and we thought it would be hard for Samantha to keep a secret that big. I didn't want anyone at school to know about the pregnancy until I reached the second trimester. After experiencing the miscarriage between Samantha and Aedan, I knew that I only wanted to tell family and close friends for awhile.

After finding out I was pregnant, nothing much really changed physically, of course, but I did sense that I was much more tired than normal. Now that could also be partly because I was working full-time with kindergartners, but I found myself lacking energy when it came to the evenings, especially after the kids were in bed. There were many nights that I fell asleep on the couch while trying to watch a show with Ben. I had a little bit of nausea, but nothing terrible. I never got sick to my stomach, which I am grateful for. The other "symptom" that may have been caused by pregnancy is just feeling cold all the time. No matter how many layers I wore or blankets I covered myself with, I always felt cold down to my bones. It was like this little baby was stealing all my body heat.

My first appointment was on February 7th after school. In fact, we decided to make it a family affair so that the kids could see the ultrasound pictures of the little baby. After having a miscarriage, there is always that fear in the back of your mind that it could happen again, so I was really looking forward to this appointment to confirm that the baby had a heartbeat and was growing as it should. However, with that came a lot of anxiety as well. Ben and the kids stood behind the curtain as Dr. Amo prepared me for the pelvic ultrasound, then they were allowed to come around the curtain. We heard the swooshing sound of the little baby's heartbeat right away, and tears streamed down my cheeks as I turned over to Ben and smiled. I couldn't believe that I had another life growing inside my womb. It is such a miracle how God brings forth life. The heartbeat was strong and everything looked just at it should. I was just over 8 weeks at this appointment on February 7th, and my calculated due date is September 17, 2017.

So now we fast forward to the week I am writing about where I had my next appointment on March 14th where I was just over 13 weeks along. Most doctors agree that 13 or 14 weeks is the start of the second trimester, which also means a significant decrease in your chance of having a miscarriage. Even though my first appointment was successful and my doctor said that having a good ultrasound like that early on also decreases your chance of miscarriage, I was pretty nervous leading up to this next appointment as well. I started bleeding and cramping around 12 weeks with my miscarriage, so I couldn't wait to hear a heartbeat again. This time I went by myself at a morning appointment because it was going to be an internal exam and everything, nothing that the whole family needed to be a part of. The first step was checking for the heartbeat, and Dr. Amo warned me that sometimes it takes a couple minutes to find the heartbeat since the baby is still so small. I held my breath, hoping that the baby's heart was still beating. We did not have to wait two minutes, she found the heartbeat right away. It was strong, in the 150s, and she said everything looked perfect. Once again, tears came to my eyes. I thought to myself, "We're really going to have a baby." I feel like it wasn't real to me until this moment, or I hadn't let myself get my hopes up too much or get too attached to the idea, just in case something happened. I texted Ben as soon as my appointment was over to let him know the good news. My next appointment is on April 12th, and at that appointment I will schedule my next ultrasound at around 20 weeks where we will be able to discover the gender of this little one growing inside my womb. :)

I had been feeling really good for most of my pregnancy, but I could tell I was coming down with something on Tuesday afternoon. I finished out the day at school and then had an eye appointment for a contact check. They were behind that afternoon, and I had to sit and wait for quite awhile. I found myself dozing off as I sat in the waiting room. Ben lovingly made dinner and had it ready for when I got home. I ate dinner and was feeling okay, but after dinner my stomach started really hurting and I was feeling very nauseous every time I moved or stood up. I thought it was ironic that this was the most nauseous I felt all along even though I was entering the second trimester. As the night went on, I was more and more convinced that I wasn't just experiencing pregnancy nausea, but I must have caught some kind of stomach bug. I fell asleep on the couch right after putting the kids to bed. Then, as I was getting ready for bed that night, I couldn't help it anymore, and I got sick to my stomach. Ben lovingly messaged the necessary people to let them know I would not be at school the next day.

Luckily, I did not get sick again after that first time. It took me some time to get to sleep, but I slept okay, sleeping in until about 7:30 and then making my way upstairs so I could see the kids for a little while before they left for the day. I still felt pretty weak even though I wasn't physically sick anymore. I tried to drink some water and apple juice to see how that would sit. However, I pretty much just sat/laid on the couch and rested all day. I still wasn't feeling great and had very little energy. In fact, I took several naps throughout the day as I rested.

Since I did not get sick again, I went back to school on Thursday. Thursdays are fairly easy days because we have two specials in a row in the morning, which would help me ease back into working. However, as I saw Samantha around school that day, she was not acting like she felt very well. At recess time she was just laying under the playground. She said she felt like she had a fever, so I sent her to the nurse to have her check her temperature. It was normal, but Samantha told me she had a "goopy poop" as she calls them and her tummy hurt. I checked on her a few times throughout the day and told her to let me know if she started feeling worse. She just looked super tired, and I had no idea if she was maybe coming down with the same thing I had. Samantha made it through the day, and we just made sure she got to bed extra early that night. Luckily, whatever it was that was going through school and Aedan's day care seemed to skip over our kids except for maybe making their tummies hurt and giving them diarrhea, but I will take that over vomit any day.

This is a picture I decided to take of my baby bump on Friday, March 17th. I finally told the teacher I work with on Thursday that I was pregnant, along with a select few administrators so that they would know I was not intending to return the following school year.  I also let Samantha tell her teachers, and they were really surprised that she was able to keep such a big secret for so long. Of course everyone was excited for me. I also felt relieved because it was becoming a bit more difficult to wear clothes that were loose and baggy enough to hide the baby belly that was starting to form. Now I felt comfortable enough to start wearing some of my old maternity tops that will make it more obvious that I am pregnant.

On Friday after school there was a movie night scheduled at school. I signed us up for it because I thought the kids would enjoy it. However, I didn't realize that the movie would not be appropriate for our young kids. Someone at school mentioned that fact to me, so Ben and I looked it up when we got back home and decided that we were not comfortable allowing our kids to stay for the movie. So, our compromise was going back for the dinner but then coming back home, getting in our pajamas, getting sleeping bags and pillows, and eating our popcorn on the floor while watching a movie from Netflix instead. We decided on "Tarzan" and the kids both enjoyed a family movie night at home.

Our week was busy with Ben having Aedan all day Monday, I was by myself in the classroom on Tuesday because of Kindergarten Round-up, then I got sick Tuesday into Wednesday. Samantha was in a weird funk in the evenings, making them pretty challenging as well. By the times the weekend came I was just tired of being an adult and having responsibilities, and I felt like we needed a break. Luckily, Ben had just the right idea in mind. He surprised me with a date night together. He planned the babysitter and everything without me knowing. Samantha and I got our hair cut Saturday morning, Ben took Samantha to register for tee-ball for the summer, we had lunch, and then I put Aedan down for his nap while Ben took Samantha to a birthday party for a boy in her class.

Ben picked Samantha up from the birthday party before picking up the college student that would be babysitting for us. We took a little time to explain things around the house to her. We had dinner already prepared, she just had to stick it in the oven. Samantha was excited to show her around and have some time to herself with her while Aedan was still napping.  Then, Ben and I headed out for our date night. We had tickets to see the new Beauty and the Beast movie, but the only movie theater is across the border in Canada. It was a longer line to go through customs than usual, so we were glad that we pre-bought our tickets; however, we were worried about getting there too late and not being able to find two seats together in a good location. Since it was opening weekend for the movie, it was very busy, but luckily we were able to get in and find a pair of seats right away. I really was looking forward to the movie, as the animated version was always my favorite Disney movie growing up. I really enjoyed it, and it was really thoughtful of Ben to plan this date for me, remembering that I had mentioned wanting to see the movie when it came out. After seeing the movie we went to a restaurant across the street that had good reviews for steak. It was a nice restaurant, the atmosphere was calm and relaxing, and the food was really good. Ben got steak and I got a stuffed chicken dish that was really delicious. Every restaurant we've tried in Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario has been great, definitely worth the money, which is more than we can say for the restaurants on the American side. It was a great date night out. The kids did fine for the babysitter, although she was still putting Samantha to bed when we got home after 8:00 that night. We hadn't had a date for awhile, so this was a nice break to reconnect with each other.

Sunday morning we decided to go to the second service so we could have more time to just relax at home in the morning. Here is a video of the kids wearing their costumes from Uncle Timmy and playing together that morning before church. Weekends together are always so fun, and they always go by way too fast.

(March 14-20, 2017)