Aedan: 30 Months, Week 3
Tuesday of this week started off with a busy morning. I scheduled doctor's appointments for Ben and me back to back at 8:00 and 8:30 so we could get them done and out of the way before Ben needed to get to campus. So, since we only have one car and Samantha had to get to school, Ben dropped me off at the doctor first, then dropped Samantha off at school, then came back to the doctor with Aedan. These appointments were just to get our papers signed off for our health forms to become foster parents, so my appointment didn't take long since I don't have much of a history and don't have anything physical going on right now either. Ben's appointment took a little longer because of his history with his thyroid not working properly and his year of dealing with diverticulitis and surgery to remove part of his colon. Aedan was getting tired of waiting around in the waiting room, so we went on a little walk around the block, but it was too cold to be out for too long. Ben had to wait for quite awhile so he didn't get done in the exam room until it was already past the time when MOPS started. Aedan and I dropped Daddy off on campus before heading to church for MOPS.
Because of Thanksgiving, we only had one meeting of MOPS for the month of November, and I was looking forward to getting together with other moms for the morning. MOPS is always a welcome reprieve. Aedan has fun with other kids and is well taken care of, and I get to sit and eat some breakfast and drink some coffee in peace. For this MOPS we split into two groups and went through a list of parenting questions from potty training boys to giving your kids chores to how to connect with your husband when you always have kids around. It was good to hear what other people had to say, but I think the best part about it was just that you realize that you're not alone. Every mom struggles with the same issues with their kids, but so often being a mom is so isolating and it's easy to think that your kid is the only one that does "fill in the blank." It was refreshing and reassuring all at the same time.
Here are two pictures of Samantha form school on Tuesday. They cut up vegetables and made vegetable soup. Samantha said it was really fun to use the knives and cut up their own vegetables, and she said the soup was really good and we should make it at home sometime. They even sent home the recipe for us. It's so fun that they get to do stuff like this as a class at school.
On Wednesday morning, Ben, Aedan, and I all went to Samantha's school for a conference with Ms. Cornwell. There wasn't too much to talk about since Samantha is doing so well, but it's good to touch base with the teacher and hear what she has to say. They do a standards based report card at Bahweting, which is a little different for me. Plus, in kindergarten there are so many standards that they don't master until further along in the year, so Samantha scored mostly 3s which means Partially Proficient, simply because she hasn't "mastered" it yet. Earning a 2 means Proficient, and she got that score in two areas of Language Arts: "Participate in group conversations about topics" and "Ask/answer questions to confirm understanding." She also earned a 2 in Art and Computers. She earned a 1 meaning Highly Proficient in Physical Education, which is funny to me because when Samantha was little she always seemed so uncoordinated and not as interested in physical challenges. In the Skills for Learning section of the report card, she earned 2s in Adaptability, Goal Setting, and Motivation. We were and are very proud of her, and we knew she would do a wonderful job in kindergarten, not only learning what she needs to learn, but being respectful, attentive, and helpful in the classroom as well. Ms. Cornwell also showed us a progress report from a test the kids do on the computer that assesses their Literacy and Mathematics skills. We got a report from October in comparison to a report from November and even in one month you can see the improvement. For Literacy skills, she went from "At Expectation" to "Above Expectation" in Listening, stayed at "Above Expectation" in Phonics/Writing, went from "At Expectation" to "Above Expectation" in Phonemic Awareness, and stayed at "Above Expectation" in Reading. For Mathematics skills, she stayed at "At Expectation" in Measurement, stayed at "Above Expectation" in Numeracy, went from "At Expectation" to "Above Expectation" in Operations, and stayed at "At Expectation" in Patterns/Functions. So she is already above where she needs to be in all areas except for Measurement and Patterns/Functions, but even there she is "At Expectation." Plus, Ms. Cornwell mentioned that these questions were probably closer to the end of the test, meaning Samantha could have been getting tired or not focusing as much as she did in the beginning of the test. It's great to have this data to track their progress, but really all this just confirms what we already know about our little girl. She is smart, bright, intuitive, and eager to learn. I'm thrilled that she is enjoying school and is already learning and growing in so many new ways.
Here is a picture of Samantha and her fellow classmates writing numbers in shaving cream on Wednesday. I love the expression on her face, and I love that we get to see little glimpses into the classroom through pictures on ClassDojo. You can tell she was having a great time with this activity. :)
I took a sub job in the special ed room at Bahweting on Friday. Ben had a Canadian-American debate to go to on Friday afternoon, and Samantha had a half day at school, so it worked out pretty well for me to just sub half a day. Daddy and Aedan dropped Samantha and me off at school so they could use the car that morning. Samantha stuck with me as I checked in and found the classroom I would be in for the day. She didn't want to leave me, but it was still too early for her to go into her classroom, so I walked her down to the doors to the playground so she could go out and play for awhile before school started. Then, she ran out onto the playground with no problem. Being in the special ed room was a good experience for me. It's interesting to see all the different components of a school. The class had 7 kids in the class ranging from a girl with Down's Syndrome to boys with autism and one boy that was hyperactive and was learning how to manage his behavior on his new medication. The day was pretty relaxed since it was a half-day and a Friday, but I helped the teacher give the kids spelling tests, took them to and helped them in art class, and even was on my own with them while the main teacher attended a meeting about one of the kids. None of their behaviors got out of hand, and they generally listened pretty well. They got their lunches and ate them in the classroom while finishing a movie, and then it was time to clean up, pack up, and go home. The day went well, and Samantha was excited to see me at the end of the day. It would be fun to work at Bahweting when I decide to go back into teaching full-time. It would be nice to be at the same school where Samantha (and eventually Aedan) attend, and the school has a lot of really good things going for it.
Ben brought this newspaper clipping home from campus that the Dean of his department cut out and saved for us. She wrote on the sticky note, "Congratulations, Samantha! (and her parents). Samantha thought it was pretty cool that her picture was in a real newspaper, and we were very proud that she was chosen Student of the Month for October.
On Friday night our PRIDE training for becoming a foster parent began. Ben's parents and even Jeni and Alaina decided to come up for the weekend, but they couldn't leave Indiana until 4:00, meaning they wouldn't arrive at our house until midnight. Therefore, we hired a babysitter for Friday night so that Ben and I could both go to the training together. Katie, the college student that came to the house when I took Ben to the airport, came over to babysit, arriving around 4:30 so that we could show her around the house and explain how to do the bedtime routine. The kids were very excited to have a babysitter at the house, and Aedan didn't care at all when I left, which made me glad. I knew that they would have a fun night with someone new to play with and attention from someone other than mom and dad.
At the training they served us dinner, and we went through a couple sessions of PRIDE training, which is required to become a foster parent. Lauri Brown from DHHS who is in charge of Foster Care Licensing, helped to lead the meeting. It was a lot of information, and we had a lot of questions about foster care in general, how the licensing process works, and what the relationship is between us and the birth parents.
We got home a little after 9:00 that night, and Katie gave us a good report about the kids. They had a good dinner and went to sleep well for her, so we were glad our first attempt at hiring a babysitter went well. Ben and I hung out for awhile that night before I went to bed while he waited up for his family to arrive. We didn't tell Samantha or Aedan about the visitors that were coming that night, so we knew they would wake up to a surprise the next morning.
On Saturday morning Aedan woke up earlier than he should have kicking the wall and the bars of his crib, so we tried to keep him quiet while Samantha, Ema, and Papa were still asleep upstairs. Aunt Jeni and Alaina came upstairs shortly after that, and when Samantha came out of her room and saw Alaina standing in the living room, she was just in shock. I wondered if she maybe thought that she was just dreaming and that it wasn't real. Samantha has talked about missing Alaina a lot lately and wanting to see her again, but she had no idea that Alaina would just show up at our house for the weekend. They gave each other a great big hug and couldn't wait to start playing together. The last time Jeni and Alaina were here was when they helped us move in, so our place was a disaster and things were a bit stressful. Even though their visit would be short, I knew they would have a great day playing together. When Aedan saw Papa come out, he was very excited as well, but immediately said, "Where's Ema?"
Our PRIDE training started at 9:00 a.m. and went until 4:00 on Saturday. Samantha and Aedan had ice skating lessons like usual, so we decided to just have Papa drop us off at the DHHS office so they could have our car with the car seats to transport the kids. The training on Saturday wasn't quite as organized as it was on Friday night, and it was just a long day to be sitting in seats listening to someone talk. I'm not a good student any more and don't do well sitting all day long. Again, the information was good, but there was a lot of it, and my head was swimming with information by the end of the day. They presented a lot of good material, like writing down what you normally do at three different periods during the day, and then thinking about adding a foster child to that and realizing how much it will change the daily pattern of our lives. I know that I tend to be stuck in my usual routine and structure at times, so welcoming a foster child into our home will definitely stretch my flexibility and the normal schedule I follow with Aedan on a daily basis. There was also some discussion of making sure we know what we can handle as far as what type of child we would like, what age we prefer, and what issues we would be comfortable dealing with. They stressed the importance of knowing our limits and sticking to them, even with that phone call in the middle of the night. They emphasized how we should not feel bad to say no, that they won't be offended, and that they would rather us be sure we could keep a child until they are either reunited with their family or found a permanent placement. They want to avoid taking children in and out of foster homes, so they want us to be sure before we say yes. Also, there was a lot of talk about being willing to adopt the foster children that we might have in our home, and to be honest, Ben and I had never really considered that until that day. We are going into foster care purely to do foster care and to help out children that cannot be with their families. However, we also wouldn't be opposed to the idea of adopting a child if they cannot be reunited with their family and we feel like they fit in well with our family. It's an interesting idea to think of, and we will see what happens once we enter into this whole process!
A cold front came through the U.P. on Friday night into Saturday morning, and it began to snow about halfway through our training on Saturday. So when we got home that evening, I had to take a couple pictures outside our house of our first snow in Sault Ste. Marie. It wasn't much, and I know we are in for a lot more, but I'm glad that weather is kind of easing us into living in the U.P. I bet we don't have to wonder if we're going to have a white Christmas this year.
It was fun to be back home with Ema, Papa, Jeni, Alaina, and our kids that evening. We don't normally spend this much of our weekend away from them. We had dinner together, the kids did a lot of playing together, we talked and caught up, and it was fun to have a full house of family. That night Aunt Jeni suggested that Alaina and Samantha have a slumber party together, so we decided to make it work. We brought the air mattress upstairs and set it up in Samantha's room so that Samantha and Alaina could sleep on it together. To say they were excited would be a major understatement. We got all the kids ready for bed, Ben read books to Samantha and Alaina, and then we let them lay in bed and talk and be silly for awhile before going back in and telling them it was time to go to sleep. This was the first time the girls had ever had a slumber party together, so it was hard for them to settle down to sleep. They needed a few reminders to be quiet before they finally fell asleep. It was a fun experience for them, although they both woke up a little tired from having not slept as much and as well as they usually do. In fact, Samantha said that she had to tell Alaina to give her space in the middle of the night because she was trying to cuddle up into her too much.
Since our visitors had to drive all the way back to Indiana on Sunday, they left mid-morning to being their trip. We went to the 10:45 service so that the kids would have more time to spend together. Samantha and Aedan were pretty sad that everyone had to leave, but we reminded them that we would see everybody in a few days when we went down to Upland for Thanksgiving. They thought that sounded like a good idea, and we looked forward to having a short week before going out of town.
Since Samantha was pretty tired out from her full day of playing and then a slumber party with Alaina, we told her that she needed to take a nap so she wasn't overtired for the start of school the next day. Ben put her down for her nap, and it took a little while for her to fall asleep, but then he got this adorable picture of our little sleeping girl.
Since we decided to go out of town for Thanksgiving, I knew I wouldn't have an opportunity to put up our Christmas decorations that weekend. So, I decided to get them out and work on putting up the decorations during nap time. I got the tree in place and some of the other decorations put out before Samantha woke up from her nap. Samantha has always enjoyed helping me decorate for Christmas, so she was thrilled when she walked out and saw the Christmas tree set up. She helped me unpack all the ornaments and take them out of the box to be ready to hang, and then she helped me figure out where to put some of the decorations that we have. When Aedan woke up from his nap, we started decorating the tree together. Ben and I worked on the garland, and then we let the kids hang up ornaments, especially the ones that we've purchased just for them. I was truly amazed at how helpful Samantha was with decorating the tree. This was the first year where I believe she really understood the idea of spreading the ornaments out all over the tree rather than putting them all close together. She even used a chair to stand on so that she could reach branches that are higher up. Here are some videos and pictures Ben took of our tree decorating.
It's a fun tradition to share in with the kids, and I am glad that we invested in this artificial tree last year, for we've now definitely gotten our money's worth out of it. I like the idea of cutting down a real tree, and I love the smell of the evergreen tree in your house. However, we seem to have such a hard time getting trees to stand up straight in our tree stands (and we have even purchased a couple different stands to try out). It seems like we are always paranoid for the first few days about it falling over, especially because we have had trees fall over in the past. Also, with an artificial tree, we don't have to worry about keeping it watered and worrying about it dying when we go out of town for long periods of time. Plus, Aedan is just such a monster still, I wouldn't totally trust him around a live tree. Maybe in a few more years when our kids are older and would appreciate it more, we can go back to cutting down our own tree again.
And here is our finished product. I tried to get the kids to stand in front of the tree together, but Aedan wanted to sit over on the side because that's where he hung up the Veggie Tales ornament, which is definitely his favorite. Samantha is standing next to her ballerina ornament, which is definitely her favorite. The tree turned out beautifully, and it was so nice having a living room where we had enough space to put our tree without cramming it into a corner or having to rearrange half of the living room to get it to fit. I love Christmastime, and it's so fun experiencing it each year with our kids as they grow and enjoy new and different things.
(Blog about November 15-21, 2016)
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