Ben's Surgery & the 4th of July

Samantha: 37 Months, Week 3
Aedan: Week 10

This week started off with Ben going into surgery bright and early Monday morning.  He had surgery at 7:30 am and had to be at Monroe Hospital by 6:00 am.  I decided it would be better to come over to the hospital later, once it was closer to the time his surgery would be finished, rather than getting up super early and dragging Aedan to the hospital with me.  Ben's dad offered to take Ben to the hospital, and Ben's mom offered to get up with Samantha in the morning while I took care of Aedan.  The surgeon said the surgery was going to take around three hours, so I planned to leave the house around 10:00, after Aedan had a good nap and I nursed him again.  Grandma stayed with Samantha at the house and played many different games and read lots of books.  It was a pretty rainy, dreary day outside, a perfect day for staying inside (or hanging out in the hospital waiting room).  We waited at the hospital for quite awhile just for Ben to get out of surgery.  I got Aedan to fall asleep in the Ergo, so that worked out well for talking to the surgeon and hearing how the surgery went.  I figured it would go well, but I was pretty nervous about it.  I knew that this surgery was necessary to help Ben feel better and to prevent any further diverticulitis attacks and trips to the hospital, but I was not looking forward to the recovery process.  I was not looking forward to my husband basically being out of commission for the next month or so.  I was not looking forward to basically keeping everything up and running at home and taking care of Samantha and Aedan all by myself.  I was not looking forward to packing up our whole house all by myself.  I knew it was necessary, but it just sounded like a lot of hard work for me, and I have to admit that I didn't have the greatest attitude about it.  I was a bit overwhelmed with all of these big life events happening at once: a new baby, a new job, a move, and a serious surgery.

The surgery went really well, just like the doctor hoped for.  He was able to do it laparoscopically, so Ben had four incisions, one by his belly button, one down by his pelvic bone, and one on each side of his stomach.  The doctor was able to remove the part of his colon that was the most affected and rejoined it together without a problem.  He did several tests to be sure it was sealed tightly like filling his abdomen with three liters of water and then putting air through his colon to see if there were any bubbles.  Anyways, it all went really well, which we were so glad for.  We didn't want his whole stomach to be cut open.  We had to wait quite awhile before Ben was moved to his recovery room, so I was actually in the middle of nursing Aedan when we were allowed to go back and see him.  Ben's dad went back to see him first, and then it was my turn.  I have to admit that I was a little shocked at what Ben looked like when I saw him for the first time.  He was still really out of it from being sedated.  I could tell he was in pain.  He hardly moved and looked as stiff as a board.  I tried talking to him, but he kept fading in and out, falling asleep while I was talking to him.  I found myself just standing there next to his hospital bed, holding Aedan, with tears streaming down my face.  The thought crossed my mind that I wished this never had to happen.  I just wanted my husband back, and I wanted my life to go back to normal, like it was before.

I didn't stay for very long since Ben just needed his rest, but I did come back later that night after the kids were in bed so I could talk to him and see how he was doing.  I was feeling a little discouraged when I saw him that night because he was obviously in a lot of pain, still was fading in and out, and was also feeling rather nauseous and was throwing up, which would cause even more stomach pain.  I think it was kind of hard to know what to expect ahead of time, and the severity with how the surgery impacted him took both of us by surprise.

In the meantime, while Ben was in the hospital recovering, Ben's parents stayed at our house to help me take care of the kids, help me make dinner, and help me with anything else that needed to be done around the house.  It was so strange not having him around, especially at nighttime.  I don't like sleeping alone.  I never sleep as well without Ben in bed with me.  And nighttime diaper changes were a little bit more difficult without Ben there to help me keep Aedan calm.  In fact, Ben is normally the one that changes Aedan's diapers at night to give me a little bit of a break.

Apparently I was really tired after the long, emotional Monday of Ben being in surgery because on Tuesday morning I slept in until 8:25.  I felt so bad that I slept in that long and left Ben's parents to take care of everything around the house.  We tried to keep Samantha's day as normal as possible, and it was the first day of story time for the summer, so Grandma came with Samantha, Aedan, and me to the library.  It was nice that she came with us because I certainly needed some help.  For some reason, Aedan wasn't the happiest guy, and I ended up having to leave the story time room to change his diaper and get him situated in the baby carrier.  Samantha had a pretty good time but was acting very tired and aimless that day.  She had Grandma read quite a few books to her at the library while I walked around with Aedan.  Then, Samantha realized she never had a snack and asked me for one.  However, with all the craziness of the morning, I had forgotten to bring a snack with us.  Once Samantha realized that I didn't bring a snack, she just burst into tears.  This is our normal routine, and I threw it off, she was already pretty tired and this caused her to get even more upset.  After talking with her and getting her to calm down, she decided that she wanted to just go home right then, so we made our way out of the library and back home.

That afternoon Ben's parents visited Ben in the hospital during nap time while I continued to pack up.  They brought down boxes with them from a friend of ours and between Monday and Tuesday, we were making swift work of packing.  We had all the walls bare and packed all the decorations.  We packed several boxes of books, and I was working on going through the clothes in my closet, making a stack to give away and a stack to pack.

It was extremely nice having Ben's parents here to help me out.  I would not have been able to survive without them.  They helped take Ben's place while he was in the hospital, helped make meals, helped entertain Samantha, and helped me keep my sanity while I was torn between being here and thinking of Ben's well-being.  Tuesday night for dinner we had some fresh squash from our garden.  Samantha posed for a picture with it before Grandma chopped it up and baked it in the oven with cheese.

And then Samantha wanted to hold Aedan and wanted me to take their picture as well. She loves holding her baby brother.

 Samantha is so sweet and gentle with Aedan.  She loves him so much.

These days Ben was in the hospital were so long.  I was worried about him and the care he was getting there because the nurses weren't as prompt and attentive as we would have liked.  He was still in so much pain, and I hated leaving him there by himself all day.

Tuesday night I took Samantha to see Daddy at the hospital briefly before heading off to the pool with her.  She had taken a good nap that day, and Grandpa and Grandma were willing to stay at the house with Aedan so I could enjoy some time at the pool with just Samantha.  We got there a little later in the evening, but she still had plenty of time to play and swim around in the nice, warm water.  That's the good thing about having a pool pass this summer.  We can go as much as want and not have to worry about "getting our money's worth."

After getting home from the pool and getting both Samantha and Aedan to bed, I was getting some things done around the house before I headed out to see Ben at the hospital and noticed this beautiful rainbow in the sky.  I love these small reminders from God, of His faithfulness and of His provision.

On Wednesday Grandma stayed home with Aedan in the morning while Samantha and I went to an appointment and then ran a few errands, like going to the recycling center and Kroger to pick up a few things.  I had Samantha pick out a Get Well Soon card and balloon to bring to Daddy.  We stopped by the hospital just around lunch time to say hello and deliver his presents.  He was a lot more with it today and was actually sitting up in a chair eating his clear liquid diet lunch.

It has been so nice that Samantha and Aedan have taken good afternoon naps at the same time the last week, not only to give me a bit of a break, but also to help us in getting a lot of packing up done around the house.  I was so glad to have Grandma's help with packing up a lot of Samantha's room while Samantha and Aedan did pretty well hanging out together.

I had to take this close up picture of Aedan because he was making such a great face, so serious and so pouty.

On Thursday, Ben was doing better, was able to eat a normal diet, and got the go ahead from the surgeon to come home.  He said it would just be slow recovery and Ben could either do that at home or at the hospital.  Ben was very anxious to get home, so I picked him up after Samantha and Aedan were down for their nap.  He had the drain taken out before he left, which he said hurt really bad, and he still did not have too much energy, just sitting up for awhile would tire him out quickly.  I was glad to have him back home and not have to just go visit him in the hospital for an hour at night like I did the past three nights, but there were aspects of having him back home that were a lot harder for me.  I got really emotional on Thursday night.  I feel like I have had hardly any time with Samantha lately, and the time I have had has not always been the most fun.  I was nursing Aedan before bed that night and Samantha came in to say good night.  I tried to get her to come around and give me a hug on the other side from where Aedan's head was, but Samantha thought I was just trying to get her to leave Aedan alone, so she just left the room.  For some reason, I just got really upset and started crying.  I miss having time with my little girl, having special moments with her, and getting hugs from her.  I don't want her to feel like she can't hug me or talk to me just because of Aedan.  I think I was just overtired and wanted life to be back to normal again.  I feel like our summer has just been crazy with Aedan's birth, finding out we're moving to Oxford, Ben getting another attack, our vacation, and now Ben's surgery. I put a lot of pressure on myself and on Thursday I just reached a breaking point.

Samantha says some funny things and often surprises me with the things she remembers from various conversations.  Here are some quotes from this week: "Samantha and skunk both start the same.  They're similar." (How does she know what the word similar means?)  "These are all insects." (She was looking at pictures in a book and then proceeded to name all the insects on that page.)  "In a quarter mile, turn..." (Apparently she listens to our GPS as well.)

Friday was the Fourth of July and there is a parade in downtown Bloomington every Fourth of July.  Again, Grandma offered to stay home with Aedan so that I could enjoy the morning with my little girl.  (I don't think Aedan would have appreciated the loud noise from all the horns and sirens).  Samantha had a wonderful time at the parade.  We got there just in time to find a parking spot and made our way to a spot on the street.  She was so excited for the parade to start that she could hardly wait to see the first car round the corner.  Here is a picture of us together as we waited for the parade to start.

They came around with flags for the kids to wave, and Samantha hardly put hers down the whole time.  (Do you notice her outfit?  She picked it out all by herself: a Minnie Mouse shirt, pink shorts with hearts, purple socks, and heart shoes.  Her choice of outfits are always interesting, but it's so cute to see her express herself in that way.)

We are not the most patriotic family, but Samantha sure had a great time waving her flag around.  She would wave it and shout in her cute little voice, "The United States of America!"

At the parade the various participants hand out candy to the kids along the curb.  Samantha was pretty excited to collect candy, and to eat quite a bit of it, too!

Here are some of the funny floats we saw in the parade.  Ah, the weirdness of Bloomington.

It was a beautiful morning to spend outside together, and Samantha thoroughly enjoyed herself.  I love how she has no inhibition and will just stand in the middle of everyone and dance to her heart's delight.  She is such a little sweetie.

Friday afternoon, Uncle Matt and Aunt Christy arrived at our house to help us out for the weekend.  Samantha was pretty excited to see them when she woke up from her nap.  She loves having visitors, and we have had SO many visitors this summer with everything that has been going on with Aedan being born and then with Ben's health.

Samantha always loves having people read books to her and is getting close to earning 25 points through the summer reading program at the library.  It will be so exciting when she learns how to read.  She loves books so much, I imagine that will be pretty exciting to her as well.

I had to include this picture because of the strange look on Samantha's face, and Ben "photobombing" the picture in the background.

We had a pretty relaxed Saturday morning, and once everyone was dressed and ready to go, we went to our local farmer's market.  (Daddy stayed home to rest.)  It was pretty busy again, so we picked out some vegetables and then went over to the fountain to let Samantha play.  We figured she'd enjoy just as much as she did last week, so I brought a change of clothes with us so that she could get as wet as she wanted.  However, for some reason, she didn't want to play in the water that day.  She got a little wet, and then came out of the water crying.  I told her it was okay, that I had a change of clothes for her, but that didn't seem to matter.  She saw a couple other girls wearing bathing suits and thought that was a much better idea than getting her regular clothes wet.  However, I didn't have her bathing suit for her, and she was acting very tired, so she screamed.  Screaming is an automatic time out in our family, so I took her off to the side by the curb for a time out.  After she calmed down, I talked to her about what was going on, and she decided she didn't want to play anymore, she just wanted to go home.  So, we changed her into dry clothes, letting Christy and Matt stay at the farmer's market a bit longer, and went back home.

The city of Bloomington had their fireworks on July 5th, so we had plans to go as long as Samantha took a good nap that afternoon.  I put her down for her nap, and she went to sleep quickly.  It has been so nice that she's gone to sleep so easily lately.  It's not a battle anymore, she's getting enough sleep for her little body, which results in a much happier, more respectful little girl.  Doesn't she look so peaceful and comfortable in her pink bed?

Christy and Matt offered to make their Lemon Chicken recipe for dinner that night, so while they were cooking, Samantha wanted to hold her baby brother and of course, have their picture taken together.

After he got tired of being on her lap, they laid and played in the floor gym together.  I have two very precious children, don't I?  I am a pretty lucky Mommy.

After putting Aedan down to bed, Christy, Matt, Samantha, and I went out to see the fireworks.  Samantha would normally have already been in bed as well, but we figured this is a special occasion that happens once a year, so she can stay out late.  Ben stayed home while Aedan was sleeping, knowing that once Aedan is asleep, he very rarely wakes up for any reason.

I had no idea what to expect from the Bloomington fireworks because we had never been to them before.  We took Samantha last year, but to a different city.  The Bloomington fireworks were at the Monroe County fairgrounds, which is right down the street from where we live.  It was pretty convenient to get in, and everyone just parks their car on the grass and sits out in front of their car on lawn chairs.  It was a beautiful night.  In fact, it got chilly enough that we needed sweaters once the sun went down.  We walked up to wear the band was playing and got ice cream and funnel cakes for snacks.  Then, we sat and enjoyed our snacks while waiting for the show to start.  Samantha was very excited for it to start and asked many times, "Is it going to start soon?"  She couldn't wait until it got dark enough for the fireworks to begin.

Here is Samantha dancing while we were waiting in line for our snacks.  This girl loves to dance, anywhere, anytime, no matter who's watching, she doesn't care.  I love that about her. :)

And here's the best picture I could get of Samantha and I at the fireworks.  She wouldn't put her hand down for us, but that's okay.  It was so fun to be able to do this with her and to know Aedan was happily sleeping at home.  I don't think he would have liked coming to the fireworks.  I think the loud noises would have scared him.  He is such a little boy on a routine.  He likes his bedtime and isn't a big fan when we keep him out later at night.  Plus, it was fun sharing this time with just Samantha.  I enjoyed having her sit on my lap, dancing with her in the grass, and watching her reaction to the fireworks.

Here are some pictures and videos I took during the fireworks show, mainly so Daddy could watch them when we got home, so he didn't feel like he totally missed out on fireworks this year.

When the fireworks first started, Samantha was covering her ears and complaining about them being too loud, saying she wanted to go home.  I told her we weren't going to go home, and that everything was okay.  She sat on my lap and I helped her cover up her ears for the really loud ones.  We talked about all the different colors we saw and commented on which ones we liked the best.  She got used to them after awhile and didn't feel the need to cover her ears anymore.  However, she did ask me several times, "Why are they doing this?"  As in, why are they shooting off fireworks.  So I explained to her what the 4th of July was and how it's a tradition to set off fireworks to celebrate.

We got back from the fireworks after 11:00 pm, which is obviously way later than Samantha usually is in bed.  Our drive home wasn't very long once we were able to get out of the parking lot, and Samantha stayed awake talking to Aunt Christy in the back of the car.  Once we got home, I took Samantha straight upstairs for bed and she went to sleep right away.  She was tired, but had a great night watching fireworks.

Samantha slept in the next morning, which was great since we were out so late.  We decided we would go the the second service at church anyways, which worked out pretty well, allowing Aedan to have a good morning nap in his swing before we had to leave.  Aedan did pretty well at church that morning but really surprised me because he was awake the whole time!  I held him in my lap, he looked around at everything in the sanctuary, he made eyes at the baby sitting behind us, and really was being very calm and very quiet.  I probably could have stayed in there most of the time with him were it not for a dirty diaper I had to go change.  I went to the baby nursery to change him and there were a couple other moms in there with their babies, so I decided to stay and chat with them rather than chance bringing Aedan back into the sanctuary.  It was nice to be able to sit and have a conversation with other moms.  I enjoy ECC and the fellowship that I find there so much.  I'm going to miss this place.

Uncle Matt and Aunt Christy left during nap time on Sunday to get back to Chicago.  Chicago Grandpa was planning on coming down to stay with us on Monday morning, so we had just a little bit of time to ourselves before our next guest arrived.  Both kids took good afternoon naps, neither Ben nor I felt like cooking, and he was feeling like getting out of the house for a bit, so we decided to go eat at Noodles and Company for dinner.  Aedan was asleep in his car seat for most of dinner, and Samantha did a wonderful job sitting in her chair like a big girl and eating almost all of her mac and cheese all by herself.  It was wonderful going out together like that.  It was wonderful doing something with just our little family of four.  And it was wonderful forgetting about Ben's health problems for a little while, having some sense of normalcy for at least one evening out.

Monday morning we just hung around the house and relaxed since we didn't have anyone there to help us.  Taking care of Aedan, Samantha, and Ben by myself is enough for one morning's activities.

Chicago Grandpa arrived around 11:00 and planned to stay as long as we needed him.  It has been wonderful having so many family members willing to help us out at this time.  I certainly wouldn't have been able to do it without them.  They have been a huge help not only in helping me take care of Samantha and Aedan, but also in helping to pack up our apartment as we hope to move out of Bloomington in two weeks.  It's such a surreal feeling to having everything off the walls and boxes full and piling up everywhere.  It's a weird limbo that we're in right now.  We're excited about moving and looking forward to exploring a new place, but we're still waiting and will truly miss Bloomington, the first place that has really felt like home to us.