Samantha at 13 Weeks: Going Back to Work

Well, this week is sort of a continuation of my last post, and is also late, because of my week of teacher meetings and the first day of school coming up faster than I would have liked them to.  The first week back was actually not as bad as I thought it would be, but it was made much easier by the relaxing schedule and the fact that I got to go home and see Samantha every day at lunch.  This was also the last week that Ben had his summer readings course, so his parents offered to come down to Bloomington to watch Samantha for us while he was on campus for class Monday and Thursday.  Thursday afternoon, Samantha fell asleep on Grandma's lap and slept for almost three hours!  I'm sure they both enjoyed the cuddle time quite a bit.

Well, the following weekend, right before school started, we had a big weekend planned.  On Friday, we packed up and went to Upland for the night, had dinner with Ben's parents, took a walk around Taylor, and of course, had some Ivanhoe's ice cream.  On Saturday, we drove out to Ohio for a family reunion with Ben's grandma's side of the family.  It was also the first time his grandma and extended family had seen Samantha in person.  Cousin Alaina was also there.  We love getting the babies together whenever we can.

After that, we started making the drive out to Chicago because my cousin Mike is getting married, and there was a wedding shower for them that we wanted to make sure we went to.  However, as I was nursing Samantha in Ohio before we went on the road, I noticed that my right breast was red and really sore.  I started driving, but started feeling really dizzy and had a terrible headache, almost like a migraine.  We stopped and switched places, and I just started feeling worse and worse.  The thought crossed my mind that I might have mastitis, but after I took some ibuprofen, I felt a little better, so I thought that it must have been a bad headache.  Well, we finally got to Chicago and got checked into our hotel.  My parents and Christy came over and hung out for a little while, and we put all the tired Tolls to bed.  The next morning, I still wasn't feeling very good still.  I still had a headache, I had the chills, but was burning up, and my right breast was now very red and sore.  I was starting to get concerned about what was wrong with me, and thought more and more that I probably had mastitis.  I called in to my doctor, and they called in a prescription for me.  It was pretty terrible and made me feel really crummy.  Luckily, the antibiotics kicked in quickly, and Ben just let me rest in car the whole way back from Chicago.  Nevertheless, I really hope that I never get mastitis again.


The worst part of it was that I had to go back to school on Monday, and it was the first day of school.  I still didn't feel quite back to normal, and the stress of the day, plus not having some things organized at school that I would have liked to have, plus the mastitis, made it really hard for me to pump at school.  I was getting really worried that I wouldn't be able to work it into my schedule to pump at school, or that I wouldn't be able to pump enough for Samantha.  My mind jumped to the worst conclusions possible, and needless to say, it was not a very good start to the work week and really made me second guess whether or not I would be able to work and still take care of Samantha.  I'm going to end this post on a sad note, because that's how I felt that first day back returning to work.  It was sad having to leave Samantha, and I cried at school when I thought about her and how much I missed being with her every day.  This will definitely be an adjustment for me and for our whole family as I go back to work.